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Thread: Why Trans People Are Often Bitter and Grumpy

  1. #1031
    Junior Member Havelock's Avatar
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    Okay, I’m kind of late to this party and I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but…

    I don’t believe that the intent of the OP was to suggest that anyone is literally denying the existence of transgender individuals or that the anyone on this site has suggested that such folks have literally no right to exist. C’mon now…

    Here’s the thing.

    When you’ve been lectured many times over about how disturbed/depraved/dangerous/damaged you are – and when those lectures invariably come from individuals who plainly: 1) Have no direct experience of the reality they’re judging; 2) Have no significant personal experience with the people on whom they’re passing judgment; and 3) Either haven’t taken the time to educate themselves on the entirety of our best current scientific understanding of the people on whom they’re passing judgment or else have decided for whatever reason to ignore the information they don’t like, well, then you’re more or less forced to conclude that those judgmental individuals don’t really want to engage with your existence as it is. Rather, in effect, they want to burn someone in effigy. Under those circumstances it’s damned hard for you not to see those individuals’ arguments as fundamental – and fundamentally dishonest – debates about the worth of your very existence.

    Playing semantic games with this truth is nothing less than despicable.

    As for this “You ask for tolerance but you are the intolerant one” nonsense, wasn’t this totally played out sometime around 1995? No? Regardless, it’s foolish.

    Okay, I freely admit that liberals and self-styled progressives haven’t done themselves any favors by adopting simplistic slogans that they clearly don’t fully embrace. I’ll give you that, if you’re inclined to raise that argument. But it doesn’t take a very stable genius to recognize that when most reasonable people extol the virtues of “tolerance”, they’re not saying that unquestioning tolerance of everything under every circumstance is a positive good. No, the basic concept here is twofold: one, our default ethical position should be tolerance if not acceptance in the absence of rational reasons to withhold such tolerance; and two, intolerance/a negative judgment that derives solely from irrational bias is bad. Thus, calling out irrational judgments is not in fact a hypocritical expression of “intolerance.”

    That’s not so hard to grasp, is it?

    As for the “sex” versus “gender” debate, here I think we’re suffering a bit from an impoverished vocabulary. “Sex” is perhaps best understood as a term relating to one’s genome. It’s not binary, but most people are indeed either XX or XY. Based on what we know today, one’s genetic sex does influence one’s gender identity, but it’s not necessarily determinative.

    “Gender”, on the other hand, is more subtle and carries more meanings. One meaning of “gender” relates to cultural expectations. To cite one trivial example, women often wear dresses in our society whereas men almost never do. That’s completely arbitrary in terms of nature – it could just as easily be the other way around. These arbitrary, wholly-cultural elements of “gender” are completely changeable.

    Then there are those elements of “gender” that do appear to be innate and, as best we can tell, are largely a function of events that occur during fetal development. It’s difficult to tease apart nature and nurture here, as usual, but nature appears to play the major role in determining our deeply-held feelings of gender identity. When we discuss the biological origins of misgendered individuals, this is what we’re really delving into. Talking about this aspect of “gender” is very different than talking about “gender” in terms of cultural signifiers of masculinity and femininity. We shouldn’t forget that or gloss over it – as a lot of people do.

    With respect to numbers, yes, transgender folks (probably) make up well under 1% of our population. Here are some other groups that also make up less than 1% of our population: owners of family farms; veterans of active combat; Native Americans. I could go on. Point is, I’ve yet to hear anyone suggest that we should dismiss the concerns of any of these groups out of hand because their numbers are too small. So, unless you’re prepared to defend your criteria for ignoring minority concerns, then understand that your numbers argument is really nothing more than an implicit (negative) judgment about the group you’re suggesting is too small to worry about.

    Next, all of us should recognize that there’s no shame in admitting that certain issues make us uncomfortable. If we have a certain, ingrained understanding of the natural order (for lack of a better term) and something comes along to upset that understanding, then it’s perfectly natural to resent and fear that change. But in the end that’s fundamentally our own issue and our own problem. If we can’t articulate rational, reasonably-likely-to-occur rationales for our discomfort – rationales that clearly outweigh the harm done to whomever is seeking to mitigate that harm – then the truth is that that there’s no good reason to make our discomfort dispositive no matter how many people share that discomfort, even though too often that’s exactly what we do. In that case, we should all stop trying to justify our personal unease by invoking broad, speculative cultural fears or by insisting that our own discomfort ought to be regarded as a sign that we as a society are on the path to damnation.

    In the same vein, we shouldn’t make disadvantaged minorities markers in our personal tallies of insult and injury. What do I mean by that? Here’s an analogy: Suppose I’m afraid of dogs because I was mauled as a child by a neighbor’s German Shepherd. That’s a completely understandable response and it makes perfect sense for me to avoid dogs as much as I can. But it’s not reasonable for me to insist based on my experience and feelings that dog parks should be banned because unleashed dogs are inherently dangerous and a threat to innocent children. Along those same lines, it’s simply not reasonable to hold transgender folks liable for the sins of all men, or all women for that matter. Neither, of course, is it reasonable to identify relatively rare incidents of bad actions by this or that individual and pretend that we should regard those incidents as a compelling justification for discriminating against an entire class of people.

    We should have learned that much by now, one would think. And yet…

    Okay, lecture over. And yes, I know, TL;DR. Carry on.

    Cheers.

  2. #1032
    NephropiDroid T-37 Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Havelock View Post
    And yes, I know, TL;DR. Carry on.

    Cheers.
    Probably, but I read, understood, and appreciated every word. Very articulate and elegant. I wish I could match it by half. Thank you.

  3. #1033
    Junior Member Havelock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coyote View Post
    Probably, but I read, understood, and appreciated every word. Very articulate and elegant. I wish I could match it by half. Thank you.
    Come now... Don't sell yourself short. But in any case, you are of course more than welcome.

    Take care.
    Thanks from Coyote

  4. #1034
    NephropiDroid T-37 Coyote's Avatar
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    San Francisco

    “San Francisco prides itself on supporting the LGBTQ community, but cases like this show that the city’s support does not extend to the safety and lives of transgender women of color,” said Isa Noyola, deputy director at Transgender Law Center, the largest national trans-led organization advocating self-determination for all people.
    State of CA sues San Francisco for discriminating against transgender woman

  5. #1035
    NephropiDroid T-37 Coyote's Avatar
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    “Transgender people are part of our workplaces and our neighborhoods, and they need to be able to access public spaces just like everyone,” said Sarah Kate Ellis, president and CEO of GLAAD. "The anti-transgender ballot initiatives showing up across the country are rooted in the insidious goal of blocking the rights of transgender people to exist in public space and they must be exposed and defeated.”
    Transgender rights targeted by multiple ballot measures across the United States
    Thanks from The Man

  6. #1036
    NephropiDroid T-37 Coyote's Avatar
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    Increasing violence

    This horrible violence, the unceasingness of it, is what keeps so many transgender people living in fear, especially those who are poor, or who are not white.

    Two dozen killings are more than enough to make a tiny percentage of the population afraid of suffering a similar fate, whether in our homes or on the streets.
    How the Transgender Murder Rate Reveals the Ugly Lie of ‘Acceptance’
    Thanks from The Man

  7. #1037
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    Quote Originally Posted by syrenn View Post
    lol

    so you are bitter because you cant have your way..... and grumpy that women have an opinion other then lock steeping with agenda......


    welcome to real life
    I'd welcome you to real life, but unfortunately, I don't think its possible. Good luck to ya!

  8. #1038
    NephropiDroid T-37 Coyote's Avatar
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    To those of you who say you'd dress in women's clothes to perv on women in dressing rooms:

    1) Eww. You're not just creepy and gross, you're probably dangerous. You're the ones who need to be watched extra closely, not me.

    2) HAHAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHA good luck with that.

    (Redaction my own, original article contains uncensored t-word. TW for transphobia, slurs, and violence)

    “Are you a fucking t*****?” a tall, middle-aged man who reeked of alcohol abruptly asked me in the middle of the sidewalk. I was paralyzed with fear, and was suddenly questioning my transition.

    He towered over me, and leered with a wrathful gaze. Unsure of how to answer, I began to incoherently babble. And although I was standing in a crowded New York street in the bright of day, no one came to my defense. I was alone and visibly shaken, naively hoping a stranger would intervene on my behalf. I slowly glanced up and stared into the stranger’s eyes, hoping he would sense my panic and leave me alone. Before I could speak, he spat in my face and sauntered away, letting out a jarring laugh that still haunts me.
    Walking While Trans: An immersive look into the transgender experience
    Thanks from Isalexi

  9. #1039
    Inside Your Heads syrenn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coyote View Post
    To those of you who say you'd dress in women's clothes to perv on women in dressing rooms:

    1) Eww. You're not just creepy and gross, you're probably dangerous. You're the ones who need to be watched extra closely, not me.

    2) HAHAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHA good luck with that.

    (Redaction my own, original article contains uncensored t-word. TW for transphobia, slurs, and violence)



    Walking While Trans: An immersive look into the transgender experience
    i 100% agree.

    but that is what the agenda is going to subject women too.... any man in a dress is allowed into the womens restrooms.

  10. #1040
    Senior Member Sparta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coyote View Post
    Over 100 pages of nothing but reasons why trans people are often bitter and grumpy. Thanks for backing me up, folks. And I do mean everyone. Those who backed me up by defending trans people, and those who backed me up by helping to prove my points.

    Because we see stuff like this cross our timelines constantly. Everything said in this thread, plus even worse things are commonplace in the comments section of any article about lgbtq people, ever.
    It's tiresome, I couldn't imagine putting up with what's flung at you. You're tough.
    Thanks from Coyote and Djinn

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