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Thread: If You’ve Said This Recently to Your Daughter, You May Be Perpetuating a Cycle of Vio

  1. #11
    Council Member Djinn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    They're all messed up. Teenage girls are incomprehensible. Teenage boys are just stupid. This is coming from someone who has a 17 year-old daughter, and a 13 year-old son.
    To be fair - they come up with good lines. We were just college-shopping in Baltimore. We were walking along the harborfront, from the science center back to our car, when we passed a "Hooters" restaurant. At age 13, my son was straining his eyeballs to look through the windows without it being obvious. Then he suddenly exclaims "Oh - I just got it! The 'Os' in 'Hooters' are supposed to look like boobs!"

  2. #12
    Veteran Member Dr Sampson Simpson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madeline View Post
    We could also stop patronizing movies, etc., that promote the idea that persistence is the way a good guy gets the girl.

    It isn't. Persistence is the way a bad guy communicates a profound lack of respect to a girl, and is the behavior of stalking.
    Ha, that always pisses me off, it is most always the case. Plus the fiction that its so easy to get sex like they show in the movies. Or the unrealistic where everybody is always single. That and no matter what it seems every book/movie/TV show has to force sex in it. Even when there is no need. Like two people who know each other through the course of the movie, which is a day in their lives, and at the end they profess they are in love. Get the hell out of here with that shit. Why does every single movie have to have romantic interests, no matter how ridiculous. OK, I went on a tangent from the original purpose of my post
    Thanks from Madeline

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by labrea View Post
    Let’s stop telling girls that boys bully them "because they like you."
    By Liz Posner / AlterNet November 8, 2017, 12:27 PM GMT

    Sexual assault has arguably become the hot-button issue of the fall. Harvey Weinstein's fall and the #MeToo social media movement have awakened many Americans to the reality that almost every woman has encountered sexual harassment or assault at some point in her lifetime. Now many parents are asking how they can protect their daughters from becoming victims and their sons from being perpetrators. Sexual harassment and assault are highly pervasive among children. According to a 2011 study, 56 percent of girls reported having experienced sexual assault while in school. One piece of advice some parenting experts are giving is: stop telling adolescent girls that boys are mean to them “because they like you.” It’s an outdated response that normalizes male aggression against women at a dangerously young age.

    The aforementioned study also shows how normalized sexual assault is in the eyes of offenders: 44 percent of the students who admitted to sexually harassing others didn’t think of it as a big deal, and 39 percent said they were just “trying to be funny.” Clearly, sexual harassment and assault is a silent presence among today’s children, and when parents tell their daughters to ignore or tolerate it, they prop up a devastating cycle of violence. For far too long, American parents have tolerated aggressive behavior in boys. Even implicitly, adults condone violence in boys; studies show that parents are more tolerant of boys who act aggressively toward peers and siblings than of girls who do the same.

    https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-po...ause-they-them
    Histrionic melodrama from Alternet (big surprise). This issue should be taken seriously, but nutcase leftist melodrama like this really helps no one.

    "One piece of advice some parenting experts are giving is: stop telling adolescent girls that boys are mean to them “because they like you.” It’s an outdated response that normalizes male aggression against women at a dangerously young age."

    How is it "outdated?" What makes that possible explanation "outdated?" I don't see how that possibility has some expiration date. It's a real possibility. Perhaps the better message is not to be too quick to dismiss or normalize behavior that might be inappropriate or warranting intervention.

    "Sexual harassment and assault are highly pervasive among children."

    Inappropriate histrionic comment to lump harassment-and-assault together and then say it's pervasive among children.

    The aforementioned study also shows how normalized sexual assault is in the eyes of offenders: 44 percent of the students who admitted to sexually harassing others didn’t think of it as a big deal, and 39 percent said they were just “trying to be funny.”

    How does that show "how normalized sexual assault is?" Honestly, what is wrong with this author/website?

    "Clearly, sexual harassment and assault is a silent presence among today’s children" - Um, no, clearly this writer is a fucking nutjob.

    "...and when parents tell their daughters to ignore or tolerate it, they prop up a devastating cycle of violence."

    Nutjob. Seriously, tone down the feminist rhetoric. You can't take issues seriously when so much of the noise about it is sensationlized and polarized and histrionic like this.
    Last edited by Neomalthusian; 13th November 2017 at 12:58 PM.

  4. #14
    Veteran Member Madeline's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neomalthusian View Post
    Histrionic melodrama from Alternet (big surprise). This issue should be taken seriously, but nutcase leftist melodrama like this really helps no one.

    "One piece of advice some parenting experts are giving is: stop telling adolescent girls that boys are mean to them “because they like you.” It’s an outdated response that normalizes male aggression against women at a dangerously young age."

    How is it "outdated?" What makes that possible explanation "outdated?" I don't see how that possibility has some expiration date. It's a real possibility. Perhaps the better message is not to be too quick to dismiss or normalize behavior that might be inappropriate or warranting intervention.

    "Sexual harassment and assault are highly pervasive among children."

    Inappropriate histrionic comment to lump harassment-and-assault together and then say it's pervasive among children.

    The aforementioned study also shows how normalized sexual assault is in the eyes of offenders: 44 percent of the students who admitted to sexually harassing others didn’t think of it as a big deal, and 39 percent said they were just “trying to be funny.”

    How does that show "how normalized sexual assault is?" Honestly, what is wrong with this author/website?

    "Clearly, sexual harassment and assault is a silent presence among today’s children" - Um, no, clearly this writer is a fucking nutjob.

    "...and when parents tell their daughters to ignore or tolerate it, they prop up a devastating cycle of violence."

    Nutjob. Seriously, tone down the feminist rhetoric. You can't take issues seriously when so much of the noise about it is sensationlized and polarized and histrionic like this.
    I disagree the author was applying feminist theory to the issue.

    Seemed more like crappy, poorly thought out nonsense. Which is hardly the hallmark of feminist theory.

  5. #15
    Moderator HayJenn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madeline View Post
    Fucking AlterNet. Literally the LAST place anyone should be getting parenting advice.

    Sexual harrassment, a la Weinstein, is not sexual assault. There is a weird liberal move going on to muddy the waters to such a degree, the public begins to think sexual harassment must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Etc.

    OBVIOUSLY, females need to be taught to be assertive, etc. As do males.
    Mmmm, Weinstein was sexual assault.
    Thanks from MaryAnne and Friday13

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by labrea View Post
    Let’s stop telling girls that boys bully them "because they like you."
    By Liz Posner / AlterNet November 8, 2017, 12:27 PM GMT

    Sexual assault has arguably become the hot-button issue of the fall. Harvey Weinstein's fall and the #MeToo social media movement have awakened many Americans to the reality that almost every woman has encountered sexual harassment or assault at some point in her lifetime. Now many parents are asking how they can protect their daughters from becoming victims and their sons from being perpetrators. Sexual harassment and assault are highly pervasive among children. According to a 2011 study, 56 percent of girls reported having experienced sexual assault while in school. One piece of advice some parenting experts are giving is: stop telling adolescent girls that boys are mean to them “because they like you.” It’s an outdated response that normalizes male aggression against women at a dangerously young age.

    The aforementioned study also shows how normalized sexual assault is in the eyes of offenders: 44 percent of the students who admitted to sexually harassing others didn’t think of it as a big deal, and 39 percent said they were just “trying to be funny.” Clearly, sexual harassment and assault is a silent presence among today’s children, and when parents tell their daughters to ignore or tolerate it, they prop up a devastating cycle of violence. For far too long, American parents have tolerated aggressive behavior in boys. Even implicitly, adults condone violence in boys; studies show that parents are more tolerant of boys who act aggressively toward peers and siblings than of girls who do the same.

    https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-po...ause-they-them
    Ms. Labrea,

    Something slightly off subject, but it is pretty funny that those who started the sexual harassment awareness social media movement named it #MeToo.

  7. #17
    Veteran Member Madeline's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HayJenn View Post
    Mmmm, Weinstein was sexual assault.
    Weinstein stands accused of dozens of incidents now, but none I have heard rise to the level of sexual assault. Who is he thought to have assaulted?

  8. #18
    Veteran Member Chief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    To be fair - they come up with good lines. We were just college-shopping in Baltimore. We were walking along the harborfront, from the science center back to our car, when we passed a "Hooters" restaurant. At age 13, my son was straining his eyeballs to look through the windows without it being obvious. Then he suddenly exclaims "Oh - I just got it! The 'Os' in 'Hooters' are supposed to look like boobs!"
    I have always wondered... to think I needed a 13yo to explain it to me. ><

    Kids crack me up so much. Yesterday I sighed, impatient to get to work and my son Arthur kept wanting more food for breakfast... dude is a walking tummy I swear.... and his response to my sigh... "Daddy, don't be naughty".

    Oh, man... he got me.
    Thanks from Djinn, Madeline and MaryAnne

  9. #19
    Veteran Member Chief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madeline View Post
    Weinstein stands accused of dozens of incidents now, but none I have heard rise to the level of sexual assault. Who is he thought to have assaulted?
    I'm pretty sure there are at least 3-4 accusations of rape now. I believe he is being investigated for sexual assault in LA, NY, and London.
    Thanks from Madeline and Friday13

  10. #20
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chief View Post
    I have always wondered... to think I needed a 13yo to explain it to me. ><

    Kids crack me up so much. Yesterday I sighed, impatient to get to work and my son Arthur kept wanting more food for breakfast... dude is a walking tummy I swear.... and his response to my sigh... "Daddy, don't be naughty".

    Oh, man... he got me.
    My daughter told me that if she rolled her eyes at mommy like I did that she'd probably be grounded and that's "not fair!"

    Incidentally, my wife agreed with her.
    Thanks from Chief, Madeline and MaryAnne

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