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You ask if I can forgive my enemies. I said I can't.
Whether I can or can't forgive my enemies and persecutors is IRRELEVANT to christianity's teachings. It only means I am honest enough to admit my short-comings, not that I am 'recanting' any church position (I don't even know how someone is ignorant enough to think that I can recant a church position in the first place).
I repeat, substitutionary atonement is immoral only when it is forced on somebody. Jesus freely accepted the crucifixion so your entire thread is standing on a wrong premise.
Luke 22:42 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
"Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done."
Go peddle your lies to those foolish enough to believe them.
47 While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. 48 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” 49 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.
50 Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”[a]
Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. 51 With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”
55 In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. 56 But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.
Does that seem like jesus did not freely accept the crucifixion?
John 5:30 I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.
Only a fool would not know that your bible is full of contradictions.