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Thread: To Guys Who Think It's "Hard To Be A Man" Right Now

  1. #61
    Shiny Purple Member namvet69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babba View Post
    Some men do get this. And the past few weeks haven't been what clued them in. But most men are completely clueless about this.





    https://www.bustle.com/p/to-guys-who...or-you-3344482

    This is day to day life for women.



    I just thought men need to know this about women's lives. As the thread I started showed, MOST women have experienced sexual harassment and/or sexual assault. And most women have been accused of "giving the wrong impression" simply by trying to live our lives.
    Bravo! Great post.
    Thanks from Babba

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puzzling Evidence View Post
    If you have a reason to call the police you should. I'm hoping you understand that I'm not implying that all women are lairs, I'm only saying that some are. Anyone who thinks that all women tell the truth, is just being silly.
    Never said there weren't women liars - only that I have better things to do with my time and energy than deal with them, man or woman.

  3. #63
    Cat-tastic Babba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macduff View Post
    I'm not trying to play gotcha here but I'm pretty sure people have made it known how they feel about teaching abstinence. Ben Shapiro actually made a very similar point to what you're making. At least sort of similar. Anyways, he said that sometimes the rules are a little confusing. Which I agree with. But his rules, which are basically not having sex outside of marriage are very clear cut and that if that was the societal standard then we wouldn't have a lot of these problems. Now, I'm not on board with the no sex unless married. But I do agree that society sends a lot of mixed and confusing messages. We tell boys that they aren't men unless they have sex and we treat teenagers like they're weird if they don't wait until they're a little more mature to have sex. But then we tell them not to be too aggressive about it. We tell girls not to be easy and play hard to get and then we tell guys to back off immediately. So a lot of young men and women don't know what the hell to do and a lot of young men just say screw it, I want it so I'll just take it.
    You're right. As a society we're confused about sex. But my point is that women have taken the brunt of the confusion. And it's good that men are all of a sudden realizing that they need to think before they act or even speak.

    It should be fine for everyone, as adults, to say that sex is a lovely thing under the right circumstances. It's wonderful. But men have been conditioned to do some weird stuff. And women too, sadly. But it has all come about because men are taught that getting it where ever and with whoever is manly and women are taught that they must be careful lest they attract men. Oh, wait, they should attract men, but if they do, they take the chance that the men may be confused and think you want more than you do at that time. And it takes so little to confuse men. And they're always excused that they got confused because hormones and such......

    I know you're one of the good guys, Mac, but women have been in a bad spot forever. it's hard to feel sorry for men at this point.
    Thanks from labrea

  4. #64
    Veteran Member bajisima's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macduff View Post
    We used to do that. Used to be if some guy in his thirties was creeping on 16 year old girls then someone; a dad, boyfriend, brother; would get some guys together and go kick his ass. Men stopped protecting women and the predators took advantage. Counting on the HR department hasn't been working.
    Guys used to do that when I was young as well. They knew what other guys were saying and who were problematic. We had one guy who came off as such a sweetheart but the guys would tell us to keep away. He ended up raping a woman he picked up at a bar. We were so lucky the other guys were aware and trying to keep us away because a lot of women thought he was so cute.
    Thanks from Puzzling Evidence and labrea

  5. #65
    Veteran Member bajisima's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macduff View Post
    Here's the one problem I have with #MeToo. I think conflating sexual harassment and sexual assault is a little confusing. Sexual assault has much clearer lines. Sexual harassment has more gray areas. I mean there are some things that are definitely harassment; like a guy showing a woman his dick at work when against her will; something like that no question. But some things are more gray. Is asking a woman out a second time harassment? I mean it could be. Or maybe the guy genuinely believed her when she said she was busy that night the first time she asked, when she was really just trying to decline him without hurting his feelings. Which she might have done for fear that he'd freak out at being told no. It's complicated.
    It is complicated and the news just yesterday said men are going to HR in droves asking exactly what is acceptable and what isnt. They know the obvious stuff but not everything. We all have had that guy that really wants a date and just keeps asking or sending flowers or something to get the woman interested. Also look at Garrison Keillor from NPR, he was fired for rubbing the back of a coworker that was upset. He is now claiming he didnt understand the accusation.

  6. #66
    Burn it down Macduff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bajisima View Post
    Guys used to do that when I was young as well. They knew what other guys were saying and who were problematic. We had one guy who came off as such a sweetheart but the guys would tell us to keep away. He ended up raping a woman he picked up at a bar. We were so lucky the other guys were aware and trying to keep us away because a lot of women thought he was so cute.
    Another story when I was a teen. A friend of mine's sister was date raped. So him and another friend went over to his place one night and knocked on the guy's door. When he answered, they pulled him out of his house and beat the living hell out of him. He was telling me that the guy was laying there on the porch with his head up against one of those metal porch railing with the bars and the other friend just kicked his head really bad. I don't know what became of that guy but I do know that he never ever messed with my friend's sister again.
    Last edited by Macduff; 2nd December 2017 at 07:14 PM.

  7. #67
    Veteran Member bajisima's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macduff View Post
    There is always doubt. Male and female interactions just aren't that simple.
    Definately. When I worked for DOT, we always playfully spanked each other or did silly things. They were "work family" and there was a bond. But newbies didnt understand or get it. They would get upset.

  8. #68
    Established Member soupnazi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babba View Post
    Do you understand that what she said is true for most women? And even if you did, you wouldn't give a shit. What she's saying, is what I'm saying. What do you say about that?
    It is not true for most women as you only have your say so which is not credible or authoritative.

  9. #69
    Veteran Member John T Ford's Avatar
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    Keep it up guys ....

    You are creating my lesson plans for me ...
    Thanks from MeBelle

  10. #70
    Veteran Member bajisima's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babba View Post
    Okay. If you find what I've said in that post confusing I will try to explain what I mean in words you will understand.

    This problem women have with the rate of sexual assault and sexual harassment isn't a new development. This hasn't developed because women have to turn to HR departments rather than men beating up other men. If so many men are guilty of sexual assault and sexual harassment, the problem is caused before men become men. Boys are taught some behaviors that bring on this problem for women. For example, it's considered a good thing for boys to "score" with girls. Boys are so cool if they can cop a feel or even better, hit a home run. *wink, wink* It gives boys the impression that doing those things makes them men and if they don't then they're wussies. As men they carry that over. The more sexual conquests the more manly they are.

    This didn't suddenly become a problem. It suddenly became a problem for men, but not for women. That's the problem you're having with this. This is a problem women have been dealing with for eons. We're pissed. You don't like it, tough shit. Which is essentially what men have been saying all along.
    Right but then we are dealing with something deeper and learned. Its got to start with young boys and I can say as a parent, that has to come from a dad or male figure. It cant come from a mom. A mom can teach her son all the right things but as soon as he hits puberty and gets around other guys he is going to try to conform to them and their standards. Its human nature. For example when I was in college one of the most popular fraternities had their pledges "grabbing asses" and pulling random girls over to kiss. Most of the girls understood but some would get mad. Even the best guys knew if they wanted to get in the fraternity, they had to do it. So it then becomes a bigger issue than most realize.
    Thanks from Babba and Chief

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