Trump has created a new cabinet position modeled after a Python sketch where otherwise upright gentlemen of some means gather to administer silly walks in a regulated environment. In this case, the new Ministry is consumed with increasing the number of high-end condominiums, golf courses and convention centers across the untouched expanse of the world. The first goal is to secure the rights to all beach front property in North Korea. Soon the Minister of Real Estate Development, Ivanka Trump, will fly to Pyongyang to discuss the details. Possible outcomes from this important mission to project American values across the world include trading beach access in North Korea for the stopping of shipments into South Korea of M16s. Another gambit includes a trade for access in return for exclusive rights to import soy beans from Iowa to satisfy the need for tofu. Ivanka has other bargaining chips up her wonderful sleeves. Life long membership in Mar a Lago for the entire regime, tee times at Trump National, presidential suites in DC for free and of course, lifetime supplies of Trump Steaks shipped directly from a broken down dairy in Missouri. There is nothing quite like aged beef. The Ministry will engage in negotiations with foreign leaders that are interested in maximizing their post-official incomes with sweet residual payments in return for certain concessions while still in office. One concession that seems quite Texan is to have no regulations imposed upon any building made by the Ministry or its current leaders for the next 100 years. If the deal is large enough, the Minister will provide a bonus in the form of access to the dressing rooms at future Miss America Pageants. Of course, all the proceeds from these projects will flow directly into the coffers of the Treasury after expenses are deducted.

The Ministry is working overtime to secure the best possible deal for America as can be had during these times of opportunity.