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Thread: Wonderful News, America!!

  1. #11
    Veteran Member bonehead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    Call it humor if you must, but this is the kind of knuckle-headedness that the Trump administration is giving us. TOTALLY made-up terrorist attacks.
    where's that damned Goebbels when you really need him?
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  2. #12
    Radical Centrist BigLeRoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    Finally! They GOT him! They FINALLY got him!

    The Trump administration is happy to announce the capture of the radical Islamic terrorist responsible for the heinous and horrific Bowling Green Massacre, when more than ten thousand innocent Americans were murdered in cold blood, in their sleep!

    The suspect was captured in Sweden, after raping three young innocent Swedish blonde bombshells, all at the same time.

    The suspect's name is Abdul Mohammed Jose Lopez.

    Not only is he a radical Muslim, he's ALSO a Mexican! A radical Muslim Mexican who illegally swam across the Rio Grande only a week before the horrendous Bowling Green Massacre, the worst terrorist attack in American history!

    They're terrorists! They're rapists! We gotta get TOUGH, America! We can't afford to be squeamish. People like this have GOT to be tortured!

    President Trump has demanded the IMMEDIATE extradition of the suspect from Sweden, failing which, he will have no choice but to nuke Stockholm.

    This message brought to you by the Department of Homeland Propaganda, bamboozling low-info voters and the poorly educated all across America.
    I still think this should be in Current Events. How are people to know we have captured this fiendish fiend of a terrorist murderering Muslim Mexican if it is not widely reported on?
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  3. #13
    Veteran Member MaryAnne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    I still think this should be in Current Events. How are people to know we have captured this fiendish fiend of a terrorist murderering Muslim Mexican if it is not widely reported on?
    That darn Mcduff just destroyed my peaceful sleep tonight!
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    Sadly, Donald Trump cannot claim credit for the capture. He was at his wonderful and beautiful Mar-A-Lago resort at the time of the capture, planning on how to bring TRILLIONS of jobs back to America.
    His plans are off to a running start, as he single-handed destroys weekend-heavy business in his Florida neighborhood by shutting down the airport and grounding everybody, blocking thoroughfares and stifling business for everyone in the area during their peak tourist season.

    What an asshole.
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  5. #15
    Veteran Member MaryAnne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by splansing View Post
    His plans are off to a running start, as he single-handed destroys weekend-heavy business in his Florida neighborhood by shutting down the airport and grounding everybody, blocking thoroughfares and stifling business for everyone in the area during their peak tourist season.

    What an asshole.
    The Airport is losing money,big time.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    Sadly, Donald Trump cannot claim credit for the capture. He was at his wonderful and beautiful Mar-A-Lago resort at the time of the capture, planning on how to bring TRILLIONS of jobs back to America.

    The suspect was captured by Kellyanne Conway, who was cleverly disguised as a Swedish blonde bombshell, luring the evil suspect into a room where Steve Bannon snuck up behind him and bonked him in the head with one of President Trump's gold-plated golf clubs.
    "Kellyanne Conway, who was cleverly disguised as a Swedish blonde bombshell"????? Please have that disguise artist contact the ladies in my life ASAP. Thank you in advance.
    Thanks from MaryAnne, BigLeRoy and Friday13

  7. #17
    Veteran Member MaryAnne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Humorme View Post
    "Kellyanne Conway, who was cleverly disguised as a Swedish blonde bombshell"????? Please have that disguise artist contact the ladies in my life ASAP. Thank you in advance.
    Worked miracles,huh? I saw her today. She was always thin. Today she looked like death warmed over.
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  8. #18
    Radical Centrist BigLeRoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryAnne View Post
    Worked miracles,huh? I saw her today. She was always thin. Today she looked like death warmed over.
    She DOES kinda look like a female version of Keith Richards......
    Thanks from Friday13

  9. #19
    Mad Genius For Hire Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    From
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    I still think this should be in Current Events. How are people to know we have captured this fiendish fiend of a terrorist murderering Muslim Mexican if it is not widely reported on?
    You will love my story about how a black, gay waitress, single handedly took out an armed racist KKK pedophile by digging her pump heel into his forhead. Patrons then sent her one million dollars as a reward for riding the world of that evil menace.

  10. #20
    Mad Genius For Hire Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigLeRoy View Post
    She DOES kinda look like a female version of Keith Richards......
    This thread gets better and better. She has small ta-tas, you should have mentioned that.

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