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Thread: Marriage License Clerk Walks Off The Job After Too Many Bizarre Requests

  1. #21
    Veteran Member Moorhuhn Wanted Champion Hollywood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    We warned you this would happen but the left did not listen.

    Well here ya go.



    Marriage Licenses
    A county clerk in San Francisco started his new job on the day that DOMA was repealed. He just happened to be assigned to marriage license detail as well to assist in the extra flow of traffic that was sure to follow. He was not ready for what came next…


    First Marriage License:


    Clerk – “Next.”

    Couple – “Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”

    Clerk – “Names?”

    Couple – “Tim and Jim Jones.”

    Clerk – “Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.”

    Couple – “Yes, we’re brothers.”

    Clerk -“Brothers? You can’t get married.”

    Couple*– “Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

    Clerk -“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

    Couple*-“Incest?” No, no, we are not gay.”Clerk -“Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?”

    Couple*– “For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

    Clerk -“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”

    Partner 1*-“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”

    Partner 2 -“And I want to marry Tim, are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”


    Clerk -“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license.”

    Next Marriage License:

    Couple*-“Hi. We are here to get married.”

    Clerk -“Names?”

    Couple*-“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”

    Clerk -“Who wants to marry whom?”

    Couple*-“We all want to marry each other.”

    Clerk -“But there are four of you!”

    Couple*-“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

    Clerk -“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

    Couple*-“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

    Clerk -“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”

    Couple*-“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

    Clerk -“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

    Couple*-“Who says? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”

    Clerk -“All right, all right.”

    Marriage License Clerk Walks Off The Job After Too Many Bizarre Requests - C.S.C. Media Group U.S.
    So what? Hire another. *shrug*

  2. #22
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    Me either.

  3. #23
    Galactic Ruler Spookycolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon View Post
    I don't believe for a second you knew this was satire..
    The link in the OP is satire but my point for using it was not.

    This is hardly a joke thread and it's a serious topic that is going to become prominent fairly soon and sides will have to be chosen.

    It's not like it's not going to become an issue.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    The link in the OP is satire but my point for using it was not.

    This is hardly a joke thread and it's a serious topic that is going to become prominent fairly soon and sides will have to be chosen.

    It's not like it's not going to become an issue.
    It's going to be prominent?

    How on earth did you arrive at that conclusion?

  5. #25
    In the Human Network Babylon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    You are still missing the point.

    Homosexuals fought and won the right to marry and it's settled law so more power to them but now you are going to have these other cases coming based on the exact same arguments which I illustrated in my OP so the question becomes what do you do now.

    Are you going to support them or discriminate certain groups because you don't "approve" of their relationship?
    Why is pot illegal?

    Because morons said so in the past. Incest is a healthcare issue while polygamists can do the same as gayus and fight for their rights just as any other group that wants a law changed..

  6. #26
    Galactic Ruler Spookycolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon View Post
    Why is pot illegal?

    Because morons said so in the past. Incest is a healthcare issue while polygamists can do the same as gayus and fight for their rights just as any other group that wants a law changed..
    What if an incestuous couple can't get pregnant, is it still a health issue according to the law?

    And the bigger question is if polygamists actually have to fight for the right to marry now that the homosexual community already fought and won that battle.

    Isn't it settled now?

    Civil Rights encompasses all groups when those laws or passed.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    You are still missing the point.

    Homosexuals fought and won the right to marry and it's settled law so more power to them but now you are going to have these other cases coming based on the exact same arguments which I illustrated in my OP so the question becomes what do you do now.

    Are you going to support them or discriminate certain groups because you don't "approve" of their relationship?
    I don't give a shit whom marries whom as long as they are consenting adults. I just think it is hilarious that folks on the right think this is real.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Think for myself View Post
    It's going to be prominent?

    How on earth did you arrive at that conclusion?
    I know. Highly doubt that SCOTUS will rule that in incest marriages would be legal.

  9. #29
    Galactic Ruler Spookycolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HayJenn View Post
    I know. Highly doubt that SCOTUS will rule that in incest marriages would be legal.
    That is the question.

    How could they rule against it without being accused of discrimination?

    Had they kept marriage as reserved for men and women then this wouldn't be an issue but how in the world can they justify discriminating against other groups after homosexuals won that right?

  10. #30
    Undercovfefe Agents TennesseeRain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    That is the question.

    How could they rule against it without being accused of discrimination?

    Had they kept marriage as reserved for men and women then this wouldn't be an issue but how in the world can they justify discriminating against other groups after homosexuals won that right?
    Your side lost on the issue. Too fucking bad. Get over it. And seriously, why in the hell is some thrice married, now divorced person pissing his pants over gay people messing up the sanctity of marriage?
    Thanks from boontito and sweettee

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