Thread: All Andy Borowitz Quotes

Trump Taps Steve Doocy to Replace Jared Kushner as Son-in-law

Fox News Says It Will Decide Trump’s Syria Response in Next 48 Hours

Sex with Stormy Daniels is turning out to be the most expensive four seconds of Trump's life.

Michael Cohen’s Lawyer’s Lawyer Nervously Hires Lawyer

"The people who wrote [the U.S. Constitution] came up with these other branches of government which are very, very unfair,” Trump said.

Trump Says He Has Been Treated Very Unfairly by People Who Wrote Constitution

"The people who wrote [the U.S. Constitution] came up with these other branches of government which are very, very unfair,” Trump said.

Trump Says He Has Been Treated Very Unfairly by People Who Wrote Constitution

Trump Sends National Guard to His Accountant's Office

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Roy Moore Offers to Lend Trump His Jewish Lawyer