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Thread: All Andy Borowitz Quotes

  1. #21
    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    “About five or six sentences in, I noticed that all of his sentences had both nouns and verbs in them,” an audience member said [of an Obama speech]. “I couldn’t believe he was going after Trump like that.”
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  2. #22
    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    "Foreign Leaders Reassure Trump That Their Opinion of Him Was Already Incredibly Low"
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  3. #23
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    "Eric Trump Kind of Stoked That Dad Never Let Him Near Anything Important"
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  4. #24
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    "The White House denied that any member of the Administration has ever worked “in any way, shape, or form” for the benefit of the United States."
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  5. #25
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    "John Kelly is SO RIGHT that the Civil War happened because of a “lack of compromise.” Why couldn’t the slave owners and slaves come up with a form of slavery that they were both happy with? #manysides"

  6. #26
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    "Trump Accuses Hillary of Deliberately Losing Election So He Could Be Impeached"
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  7. #27
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    "If the Bushes want their criticism of Trump to somehow reach him the last place they should say it is in a book."
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  8. #28
    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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  9. #29
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    The allegations against Roy Moore threaten to derail his otherwise glittering Republican career as an anti-Muslim, anti-gay, pro-birther theocrat.
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  10. #30
    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    Wow, I haven't checked in a while, but he's got a whole bunch of new ones, like:

    “Politicians pose no danger to the public if used correctly,” said the NRA’s LaPierre, who claims to have over two hundred politicians in his personal collection.
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