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Thread: All Andy Borowitz Quotes

  1. #61
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    Kellyanne Conway said that Trump’s years of bankrupting a variety of companies would prove “invaluable” as he does the same to the United States.
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    White House Christmas Pageant Cancelled After Failure to Find Three Wise Men
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    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    Just read the fine print of the tax bill. The middle class will receive their tax cut in the form of paper towels.

  4. #64
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    Trump Cuts Off Aid to United States for Disagreeing with Him
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    Sarah Huckabee Sanders Staying Sharp By Lying to Family During Holidays
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  6. #66
    Southern Strategy Liberal OldGaffer's Avatar
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    These sound more like actual White House "leaks" than Borowitz satire....actually, I can no longer tell the difference....

  7. #67
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    HAPPY NEW YEAR: Announcing Andy Borowitz's MAKE AMERICA NOT EMBARRASSING AGAIN TOUR

    Proceeds from each ticket will be donated to the International Rescue Committee to help refugees around the world.

    Tickets NOW ON SALE to the first four just-announced shows:

    Feb 24: Andy Borowitz in Washington
    March 3: Borowitz at SOPAC - 2nd Show Added!
    March 8: Andy Borowitz in Philadelphia
    March 10: Andy Borowitz in Tarrytown

    More dates coming soon!

  8. #68
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    Franklin Delano Roosevelt: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

    Donald J. Trump: "My button is bigger than your button."

    #progress

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    White House Staff Forced to Act Out Michael Wolff Book for Non-reading President

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    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    WASHINGTON - In an explosive allegation, Donald Trump claimed today that the DNC and Hillary Clinton hired the Russian prostitutes who peed on him at the Moscow Ritz. “Ask those hookers,” he told Sean Hannity of Fox News. “Someone paid them to pee on me. If I had hired them, they never would have gotten paid.”

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