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Thread: All Andy Borowitz Quotes

  1. #81
    Nuisance Factor Yeti 8 Jungle Swing Champion, YetiSports 4 - Albatross Overload Champion, YetiSports7 - Snowboard FreeRide Champion, Alu`s Revenge Champion boontito's Avatar
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    From
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    #SOTU Trivia: Every year, one member of the administration, the designated survivor, watches the speech from a separate location so that, in the event of a catastrophe, he or she can run the government. This year, that person is Vladimir Putin.
    Thanks from Ian Jeffrey, OldGaffer and Idiocracat

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    BREAKING: White House Computer Explodes While Spell-checking State of the Union Address

  3. #83
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    Sarah Huckabee Sanders Proofreading State of the Union One Last Time to Remove Any Remaining Facts
    Thanks from OldGaffer and Blueneck

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    Former Hippies Put in Horrible Position of Rooting for FBI
    Thanks from RNG, Ian Jeffrey and Blueneck

  5. #85
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    With our country more divided than ever, it seems like the only thing we can all agree on is that we hate Tom Brady.

  6. #86
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    “Increasingly, the President has become convinced that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not on his team,” one aide said.

    Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average
    Thanks from NightSwimmer

  7. #87
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    Wife-abuser Who Never Passed Background Check Still in White House

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    From
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    In the past, Trump had given no indication that he held wife beaters in the same high esteem in which he holds supporters of child abuse and white supremacy.
    Thanks from Amelia

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    Unsuspecting Americans who turned on cable news Monday morning were suddenly assaulted with the memory of a time when the country’s domestic affairs, international diplomacy, and nuclear codes were entrusted to an adult.
    Thanks from Amelia

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    "Forty percent means more than half the country supports the President," DeVos said. "Do the math."
    Thanks from Amelia

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