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Thread: Nation’s Sexual Degenerates Impatient For Gay Marriage Slippery Slope To Kick In

  1. #1
    Council Member Djinn's Avatar
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    Nation’s Sexual Degenerates Impatient For Gay Marriage Slippery Slope To Kick In


    WASHINGTON—Assuming they’d be stripping away the moral fabric of society almost immediately after the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision to legalize same-sex marriage, the nation’s degenerates reported Monday that they have grown impatient for the gay marriage slippery slope to kick in. “We were promised that when gay marriage was legalized, it’d only be a matter of time before sickos like me would be having sex with our pets—well, I’ve got a dog and a cat I still haven’t fucked,” said an exasperated Alan Beleski, 42, one of the deviants from across the country who told reporters they were tired of waiting for the inevitable collapse in decency that would normalize acts such as bestiality, incest, and necrophilia. “Goddammit, what’s taking so long? When gay marriages were finally recognized in this country, I thought, ‘Hell yeah! I can finally openly proclaim my love for my sex doll, and I can also legally marry five other dolls because polygamy’s A-okay, too.’ But all that seems like a million years ago.” At press time, the nation’s degenerates took small comfort in states like Massachusetts where, with parental and court approval, a child can be married off at any age.
    https://www.theonion.com/nation-s-se...m_content=Main

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    Wawa Skittletits BDBoop's Avatar
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    I’ve been living with a lesbian couple for five years. I still haven’t caught the gay. Am I defective?!
    Thanks from Hollywood, DemoWhip, Arkady and 2 others

  3. #3
    THE PUNDIT
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    Well of course. It's THE ONION so what else can you expect?!

  4. #4
    Veteran Member Dr.Knuckles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bdboop View Post
    i’ve been living with a lesbian couple for five years. I still haven’t caught the gay. Am i defective?!
    try harder!!!
    Thanks from Slartibartfast and BDBoop

  5. #5
    Banned Camp
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    Quote Originally Posted by DemoWhip View Post
    Well of course. It's THE ONION so what else can you expect?!
    https://worldwideinterweb.com/the-25...s-of-all-time/
    Thanks from RNG and Madeline

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    Veteran Member Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    The OP discusses bestiality. That's against the rules.....or so I thought. (?)
    Thanks from John T Ford

  7. #7
    Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    I’ve been living with a lesbian couple for five years. I still haven’t caught the gay. Am I defective?!
    Put on some comfortable shoes and spend a few days with a key ring clipped to your belt and see if it helps.

  8. #8
    Radical Centrist BigLeRoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puzzling Evidence View Post
    The OP discusses bestiality. That's against the rules.....or so I thought. (?)
    If it is, I guess I should not have posted this legitimate news story:

    Some Of You May Have A Hard Time Reading This

  9. #9
    Junior Member Slartibartfast's Avatar
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    As long as they feel married in their heads, that's the main thing.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Chief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    I’ve been living with a lesbian couple for five years. I still haven’t caught the gay. Am I defective?!
    You probably forgot to eat the gay cake.
    Thanks from Friday13 and Madeline

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