Thread: International terror threat levels

ANNOUNCEMENT From the BBC -
by John Cleese.


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie is cancelled."

Does anyone have information on other nation's terrorist threat systems?

Originally Posted by TheHighForester

Does anyone have information on other nation's terrorist threat systems?

Yes the Sicillians raised their threat level from.....a long walk on a short pier with cement galashes, to a Sicillian Neck-Tie with Two in the Head.....

The Irish raised theirs from a wee bit knackered and where's me pot of gold.....to aye It's gonna be a knock-down dragged out fight and when we get done were gonna get drunk sitting at the end of me rainbow....

The US has a color coded system for the threat levels and raises those levels as it see fits.....Americans call-in asking what color means what and does this mean we have another holiday so we don't have to go to work!!!!!

The US hardly ever changes its "threat level." We keep the same color for years at a time, regardless of threats or activity against our nation and its people. That, I believe, is exactly why Mr. Cleese thinks the system is worth spoofing.

Originally Posted by TheHighForester

The US hardly ever changes its "threat level." We keep the same color for years at a time, regardless of threats or activity against our nation and its people. That, I believe, is exactly why Mr. Cleese thinks the system is worth spoofing.

I know hence us Americans and our passion for working so hard.....I just couldn't resist the holiday thingy!

Originally Posted by TheHighForester

Does anyone have information on other nation's terrorist threat systems?

I think the DHS is revamping theirs.

They are starting with a new set of colors:

Chartreuse
Papaya
Sienna
and of course
firebrick

The downside is that most MEN will be unable to see OR recognize these colors...

Originally Posted by TheHighForester

Does anyone have information on other nation's terrorist threat systems?

My fav .....The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

I traveled during the holiday season and the threat level was at the maximum allowed by law. We are all in grave danger and are in need of an ass to kiss to remain safe.

Colombia changed theirs from.....just a lil blow, to Up In Smoke!

Originally Posted by TheHighForester

The US hardly ever changes its "threat level." We keep the same color for years at a time, regardless of threats or activity against our nation and its people.

It's because the threat level has been politicized, specifically the airline threat level. Woe be the politician who lowers it and there is an incident.


DHS | Homeland Security Advisory System

January 24, 2011

* The United States government's national threat level is Elevated, or Yellow.
* For all domestic and international flights, the U.S. threat level is High, or Orange.

DHS | Homeland Security Presidential Directive 3: Homeland Security Advisory System

# Elevated Condition (Yellow). An Elevated Condition is declared when there is a significant risk of terrorist attacks. In addition to the Protective Measures taken in the previous Threat Conditions, Federal departments and agencies should consider the following general measures in addition to the Protective Measures that they will develop and implement:

1. Increasing surveillance of critical locations;
2. Coordinating emergency plans as appropriate with nearby jurisdictions;
3. Assessing whether the precise characteristics of the threat require the further refinement of preplanned Protective Measures; and
4. Implementing, as appropriate, contingency and emergency response plans.

# High Condition (Orange). A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. In addition to the Protective Measures taken in the previous Threat Conditions, Federal departments and agencies should consider the following general measures in addition to the agency-specific Protective Measures that they will develop and implement:

1. Coordinating necessary security efforts with Federal, State, and local law enforcement agencies or any National Guard or other appropriate armed forces organizations;
2. Taking additional precautions at public events and possibly considering alternative venues or even cancellation;
3. Preparing to execute contingency procedures, such as moving to an alternate site or dispersing their workforce; and
4. Restricting threatened facility access to essential personnel only.

We've become a nation of ninnies who are in constant fear.