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"Obama says he will be reforming No Child Left Behind. That's not to be confused with Michelle Obama's childhood obesity campaign, 'No Child Left With a Big Behind.'" –Jay Leno
"Taco Bell is product testing a new taco with a shell made of a giant Dorito. Michelle Obama spent the morning watering the White House garden with her tears." –Jimmy Kimmel
"President Obama announced that he will run for re-election in 2012. Unfortunately, his popularity is so low that he's running on the slogan, 'I'm Michelle Obama's husband.'" –Conan O'Brien
"A year ago Michelle Obama started her campaign to end childhood obesity called 'Let's Move.' I think Americans have been very clear in their answer, 'No.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One." –Jimmy Fallon
"On the 'Today' show, Michelle Obama called the Bush twins 'magnificent' and Chelsea Clinton a 'solid young woman.' In fact, the only president’s kid she didn’t compliment was George Bush Sr.’s." –Jimmy Fallon
"First lady Michelle Obama told 'Regis & Kelly' she was expecting jewelry on Valentine's Day. She said it wouldn't be anything extravagant because Barack tends to be responsible when he's spending his own money." –Jay Leno
"This is day three of the storm that has snowbliterated the United States. Finally America's extra layer of fat comes in handy. Take that, Michelle Obama." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Now that the Republicans have taken over the House, they're going to repeal everything President Obama has done. They even told Michelle Obama that her vegetable garden has to go." –David Letterman
"Sarah Palin is angry that Michelle Obama is suggesting that parents encourage their kids to eat healthy. Palin thinks that if we have healthy children, the terrorists have won." –David Letterman
"Michelle Obama said that obesity is a national security threat because 1 in 4 young people are too overweight to join the military. Couldn't we just have a separate fat army to fight in countries that don't have hills?" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Michelle Obama is hoping to put salad bars in 5,000 school cafeterias. They expect as many as 3 students to use them." –Jay Leno
Originally Posted by sparty 
