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Thread: Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy – “We don’t like the blacks either

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    Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy – “We don’t like the blacks either

    Free Wood Post

    After a record setting sales day last week, Chick-fil-A President and Chief Operating Officer Dan Cathy has realized that hatred and bigotry are extremely profitable in the United States. While hundreds of people stood in line to “celebrate” the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day and show their support for Cathy’s anti-gay agenda, Cathy was already considering his next move. According to a senior level manager, Cathy is planning a marketing campaign around his next controversial and extremely profitable statement. Cathy considered many targets that would appeal to his primarily southern-based conservative customers before ultimately saying the following:


    “Let’s milk this for all its worth. Let’s wait until this gay thing dies down a little, then I will release another statement that says that we don’t like blacks either. Now, they’re protected by those stupid discrimination laws so we’ll need to be careful, but I think it will work. I mean hey, it’s not like it’s a lie. We’ll have another Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day before you know it!”

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    Senior Member Dr.Gently's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparty View Post
    Free Wood Post

    After a record setting sales day last week, Chick-fil-A President and Chief Operating Officer Dan Cathy has realized that hatred and bigotry are extremely profitable in the United States. While hundreds of people stood in line to “celebrate” the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day and show their support for Cathy’s anti-gay agenda, Cathy was already considering his next move. According to a senior level manager, Cathy is planning a marketing campaign around his next controversial and extremely profitable statement. Cathy considered many targets that would appeal to his primarily southern-based conservative customers before ultimately saying the following:


    “Let’s milk this for all its worth. Let’s wait until this gay thing dies down a little, then I will release another statement that says that we don’t like blacks either. Now, they’re protected by those stupid discrimination laws so we’ll need to be careful, but I think it will work. I mean hey, it’s not like it’s a lie. We’ll have another Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day before you know it!”
    The thing with satire is it has to be funny, and it helps if it's got a grain of truth in it.


    Someone tell that wesbite you can't just say fake things, they have to be FUNNY fake things.


    Example:

    (Next to a photo of Obama giving a campaign speech in 2008)
    Black Guy Asks Nation for Change
    According to witnesses, a loud black man approached a crowd of some 4,000 strangers in downtown Chicago Tuesday and made repeated demands for change.

    "The time for change is now," said the black guy, yelling at everyone within earshot for 20 straight minutes, practically begging America for change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gently View Post
    The thing with satire is it has to be funny, and it helps if it's got a grain of truth in it.


    Someone tell that wesbite you can't just say fake things, they have to be FUNNY fake things.


    Example:
    I suppose this is funny.


    http://www.politicalhotwire.com/curr...ing-woman.html

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    Senior Member Dr.Gently's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparty View Post
    It's exactly the same. I don't even know the parts that are SUPPOSED to be funny.

    Unfunny.

    *Edit - this is from the same website.

    I'd imagine the whole website is about as funny as a ball point pen.

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    You can thank Oscar for that website.

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    Senior Member Dr.Gently's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparty View Post
    You can thank Oscar for that website.
    The Onion

    Accept no substitutes.

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    Moderator highway234's Avatar
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    yeah, Free Wood Post seems to just do satire that's shit the people would really say, only they just happen to have not said it. it's less humor than some kind of weird internet performance art. either that, or it's actually designed to fish in people by posting totally plausible hoaxes and trick them into making fools of themselves.

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    Prince Charles Weds Longtime Horse

    "Her Majesty is happier still to announce that the new Duchess Of Cornwall possesses a strong carriage, healthy teeth, and an unimpeachable bloodline." Following the ceremony, the reclusive couple retreated to the Birkhall Estate near Balmoral Castle in Scotland, where they celebrated their new union by posing for photographs and going for a brisk trot in the courtyard."


    White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

    "I can assure that no one—including myself, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, 'Scooter' Libby, or Condi Rice—has been the recipient, or provider, of the kind of unnatural, depraved, and frankly gross sexual act that, not too long ago, disgraced this office in the eyes of the world." Bush was then joined on stage by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) and Tom DeLay to cut a perfectly square, frostingless vanilla cake made especially for the occasion."

    Jewish Elders Lift 6,000-Year Ham Ban:

    "During the Passover seder, which commemorates our people's deliverance from slavery in Egypt, we will remember the day God brought us unto the Land of Milk and Honey by drinking a tall glass of milk with a thick slice of honey-glazed ham,' Feinberg said. 'And joining the charoses and maror on the seder plate will be a ham roll, symbolizing the juicy, mouth-watering taste of freedom.'"

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    Senior Member Dr.Gently's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highway234 View Post
    yeah, Free Wood Post seems to just do satire that's shit the people would really say, only they just happen to have not said it. it's less humor than some kind of weird internet performance art. either that, or it's actually designed to fish in people by posting totally plausible hoaxes and trick them into making fools of themselves.
    It's like they studied the idea of political satire, but didn't really "get" it.


    SNL is also good.

    "President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati's great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed." --Amy Poehler

    "The French have launched their own version of Google, called Quaero. You just type in the subject you're interested in, and Quaero refuses to look it up for you." --Amy Poehler

    "JIMMY FALLON: Sesame Street Workshop announced this week that they are laying off sixty workers. News of the firings was brought to employees by the letters F and U."

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    Quote Originally Posted by sparty View Post
    You can thank Oscar for that website.
    Actually, I didn't even no about that site until you kept spamming links to it all over the forum.

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