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Thread: Consensual Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships . Why Not??m

  1. #51
    Southern Strategy Liberal OldGaffer's Avatar
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  2. #52
    Southern Strategy Liberal OldGaffer's Avatar
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  3. #53
    Council Member Djinn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProgressivePatriot View Post
    That's assuming that all persons in that arrangement have a parental relationship with the children. The upside is that regardless of what happens, the children will, most likely, still have at least two parents.
    Right - but the departure of a family member is always traumatic to a child. And the more spouses / partners that are involved, the greater the risk of such a trauma.

  4. #54
    Council Member Djinn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    I certainly will not question your relationship as that is not my place but I believe that being there for one another would also include sex.

    If you are in a committed relationship why would you even desire anyone else. ...
    On the flip side, we have a forum member (who has not posted in this thread, so I'm not naming him), who believes that merely having an attraction to someone other than your spouse constitutes infidelity, regardless of any action, and regardless of feasibility. I find actress Mila Kunis sexually attractive, though I know perfectly well, that a) I'm not likely to ever have an opportunity to cheat on my wife with her, and b) if I did have such an opportunity, I still wouldn't do it, though I'd be telling my grandkids the story decades later.

  5. #55
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    Right - but the departure of a family member is always traumatic to a child. And the more spouses / partners that are involved, the greater the risk of such a trauma.
    So nobody should get married, ever. The risk of trauma is too high.

  6. #56
    Council Member Djinn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coyote View Post
    So nobody should get married, ever. The risk of trauma is too high.
    There's a significant benefit to having a child raised by a married couple. You can't avoid ALL risk - but you can mitigate it considerably by keeping the number of spouses down. If it were a difference between 50% and 51%, I'd say it doesn't matter much; but 50% to 75% is not something one can ignore.

  7. #57
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    There's a significant benefit to having a child raised by a married couple. You can't avoid ALL risk - but you can mitigate it considerably by keeping the number of spouses down. If it were a difference between 50% and 51%, I'd say it doesn't matter much; but 50% to 75% is not something one can ignore.
    I'm not sure I agree with your "formula". I think it's probably a good deal more complex than simply dividing percentages in half per participant.

  8. #58
    Moderator HCProf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    Right - but the departure of a family member is always traumatic to a child. And the more spouses / partners that are involved, the greater the risk of such a trauma.
    Kids can easily become attached to people who respond positively to them and who are kind to them. Even if a divorced parent has a boyfriend or girlfriend, they may be hesitant to introduce them to the kids right away because if the child does get attached it would be like going through the divorce again.

  9. #59
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HCProf View Post
    Kids can easily become attached to people who respond positively to them and who are kind to them. Even if a divorced parent has a boyfriend or girlfriend, they may be hesitant to introduce them to the kids right away because if the child does get attached it would be like going through the divorce again.
    Then by that logic you shouldn't introduce your kids to their uncles and aunts, lest they move to another state or pass on. Especially grandparents. They'll die eventually, and who needs that heartache? Also they should never have friends, because friends leave.

  10. #60
    Moderator HCProf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coyote View Post
    Then by that logic you shouldn't introduce your kids to their uncles and aunts, lest they move to another state or pass on. Especially grandparents. They'll die eventually, and who needs that heartache? Also they should never have friends, because friends leave.
    That is too extreme of a comparison..loss is one thing and is a part of life. Picking and choosing your relationships and the impact they have on your children is something you can control while you are responsible for them.
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