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Thread: Consensual Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships . Why Not??m

  1. #81
    Junior Member Zephyr's Avatar
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    I could not do something like that.

  2. #82
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sassy View Post
    What does this post mean? It seems to mean that being monogamous with a spouse 'makes no sense'.
    I was referring to this and other similar statements.

    Quote Originally Posted by HCProf View Post
    I have always thought that monogamy was natural in a relationship with the right partner, such as having zero interest in another man or woman.
    If you really loved your partner, you would experience zero desire for sexual or emotional intimacy with anyone else, ever. To me that's unrealistic and makes about as much sense as being only able to love one of your children.
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  3. #83
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    A group marriage is an even more complicated arrangement than a one on one arrangement.

    For people who like small, intimate, closely knit group commitments, I sort of get it. My children's theater Improv Troupe once did 30 shows in a summer and by the last show, we were finishing each other's sentences, singing improv ballads at bars after shows and generally, we were high without any drugs.

    But adding sex to that mix is extremely messy. And since sex can lead to children, I can't see how any group could impose that kind of construct on a child.

  4. #84
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kmiller1610 View Post
    A group marriage is an even more complicated arrangement than a one on one arrangement.

    For people who like small, intimate, closely knit group commitments, I sort of get it. My children's theater Improv Troupe once did 30 shows in a summer and by the last show, we were finishing each other's sentences, singing improv ballads at bars after shows and generally, we were high without any drugs.

    But adding sex to that mix is extremely messy. And since sex can lead to children, I can't see how any group could impose that kind of construct on a child.
    Yes, it is more complicated. For some it is that much more rewarding, for reasons like the ones you described with your theater troupe. Yes, sex can lead to children. But there's this crazy newfangled new thing called birth control.

    Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

  5. #85
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr View Post
    I could not do something like that.
    That's perfectly valid, and an excellent response. You personally couldn't do it, but you're not condemning it for anyone else.

  6. #86
    Member Iolo's Avatar
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    To take the question personally for a moment, a multiple relationship would feel to me like bloody hard work, barely possible for anyone who really felt anything much. What on earth is the benefit, if you have found someone your really care about? As to children, naturally they rage against their parents - they need to break free, and have long-suffering, loving people who can take all the shitty drama implied. Extended families are a different thing, once the serious basic relationships are settled.

  7. #87
    Veteran Member Isalexi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iolo View Post
    Consensual Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships . Why Not?

    Human vanity, insecurity and possessiveness, for a start. I don't know what 'human nature' might be, but these qualities seem to be close to essential for the current economic system whatever.
    Sometimes it's just fun!

  8. #88
    Veteran Member Isalexi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    On the flip side, we have a forum member (who has not posted in this thread, so I'm not naming him), who believes that merely having an attraction to someone other than your spouse constitutes infidelity, regardless of any action, and regardless of feasibility. I find actress Mila Kunis sexually attractive, though I know perfectly well, that a) I'm not likely to ever have an opportunity to cheat on my wife with her, and b) if I did have such an opportunity, I still wouldn't do it, though I'd be telling my grandkids the story decades later.
    That's where we differ if George Clooney hit on me I would go through with it and I am sure my husband would understand. LOL
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  9. #89
    Veteran Member Isalexi's Avatar
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    Ok shock alert....in the seventies we had an open marriage. I liked it for me, not for him.
    It really isn't a good idea.
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  10. #90
    Established Member Coyote's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isalexi View Post
    Ok shock alert....in the seventies we had an open marriage. I liked it for me, not for him.
    That is very common. "It's ok for me but not for you" and its corollary the "One Penis Policy" are also not polyamory.

    It really isn't a good idea.
    You mean it really isn't a good idea for you, and there's nothing wrong with that.
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