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Thread: Consensual Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships . Why Not??m

  1. #1
    Voice of Reason ProgressivePatriot's Avatar
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    Cool Consensual Non Monogamy In Committed Relationships . Why Not??m

    I was not quite sure what forum to place this topic on consensual non monagamy in. It certainly fits the topic of "sexuality" but that is a sub forum of Civil Rights. Never the less, that is where I chose to create it- under sexuality. I will add that while non monogamy is, generally speaking, not a civil rights issue, it could at some point emerge as one . How?? There is a small miniority of those engaged in consetual non-monogamy why want legal recognition for marrige to more than one person- group marriage. If that developed into a movement, it could become an issue like same sex marriage. We are not talking about polygamy here. We are talking about polyamory, a term that many may not be familiar with. There are important differences.

    Polyamory Society


    There is another way that it might emerge as a civil rights issue. "Adultury" The act of a married person having sex with another outside of the marrige is still a crime in quite a few states, although not enforced. However, if the religious right should tighten their grip further, those laws might be enforced, and new one might be passed, resulting in court battles like those about sodomy.

    Anyway, I'm interested in seeing what kind of interest and reaction I get to this topic. Please read the whole article and comment thoughtfully and honestly. Feel free to share your experiences, if any, with any form of non monagamy while in a commited relationship.

    Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com

    Selected excerpts

    (CNN)Could opening your relationship to others benefit you and your partner?
    For many couples, monogamy -- staying sexually exclusive with one partner -- is expected and assumed. It's even included in many marriage vows. But as some people are increasingly realizing, monogamy isn't for everyone.
    As a couples sex therapist, I've found that some may feel committed to each other yet still feel they have fundamental differences in sexual interests or desires. In the past, many of these couples might have chosen to break up, cheat or just "settle."

    But these days, some are finding they want to challenge their notions about sexual exclusivity.
    non-monogamy right for you?
    So how do you know whether trying consensual non-monogamy -- which includes polyamory, the ability to have sexual and emotional relationships with others -- is worth exploring? First, it helps to understand how you and your partner define sexual openness, as well as sexual exclusivity
    .

    "
    There are as many different types of non-monogamous relationships as there are people in them," Vrangalova said.
    For some couples, non-exclusivity might take the form of attending "play parties" together and swapping partners, watching other couples have sex, dating other people or even entering into polyamorous relationships with multiple partners.
    Consensual non-monogamy can add spark and fulfillment to a healthy relationship. "It can actually remove the fear inherent in some monogamous relationships related to the potential for abandonment -- for example, if their partner were to meet someone else," explained Pitagora.

    "For other people, there can be a deep sense of relief
    in not having to be the sole source of sexual satisfaction, and this can lead to greater opportunities for intimacy and bonding," she said.

    You'll want to consider issues such as jealousy, honesty and safe sex practices, just to name a few. It's also worth remembering that non-monogamy still carries a stigma in many circles, so think about how you and your partner will address that concern.
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    Veteran Member Dr.Knuckles's Avatar
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    If legitimate cases emerged, and forced the issue, it would be almost impossible to justify denying them.

    But that's the big "if".

    If a few people do it as a lark, or for a quick lawsuit, that's not legitimate.

    And as to who is the judge of what's legitimate? Judges. That's their job.

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    Veteran Member Eve1's Avatar
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    Never ever, I DON'T SHARE.
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    Veteran Member Dr.Knuckles's Avatar
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    Well there goes plan A.

    :-(
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    Galactic Ruler Spookycolt's Avatar
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    I think I would argue that the relationship isn't committed if you are involving others in that way.

    A commitment is to another person, not just parts of the relationship so the whole idea is benign to begin with.

    If this happened and went to court and I was the judge I would simply dissolve their marriage.

    End of conflict.

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    Voice of Reason ProgressivePatriot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    I think I would argue that the relationship isn't committed if you are involving others in that way.

    A commitment is to another person, not just parts of the relationship so the whole idea is benign to begin with.

    If this happened and went to court and I was the judge I would simply dissolve their marriage.

    End of conflict.
    You are certainly entitled to define commitment in any way that suits you. However, for my wife and I, it is not about sexual fidelity. Commitment is the absolute and unquestioning faith that we have in one another. The knowledge that we will always be there for each other. That we will never lie or deceive one another. That is more than can be said for some couples who are monogamous.

    If you were a judge and what exactly happened? Are people hauled before a court for being non monogamous which then has the power to dissolve the marriage? In what dark world do you imagine that to be possible?
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    Bizarroland Observer Thx1138's Avatar
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    It's been tried before...



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    Established Member NeoVsMatrix's Avatar
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    I'm not really sure what this trehad is about .

    Is it about polygamy ?
    Is it about swingers ?
    Is it about you telling us you and your wife have an open relationship ?

    I really don't get the point yet.

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    Veteran Member GordonGecko's Avatar
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    If you are looking at the "legal" angle, then naturally, you'd have to have either a written document where both parties are stating they accept that their partner is allowed to be non-monogamous...

    otherwise, adultery could still be used as an advantage in a court proceeding.


    Morally and ethically? It's nobody else's business.



    Biologically? Most believe men are not naturally monogamous on a "reptile brain" level. That we seek multiple female partners to thus insure that OUR DNA is passed on to as many progeny as possible.

    However, in seemingly contradictory? Men supposedly, to protect that progeny, form monogamous attachments to women to guard and protect them, as they carry the pregnancy and raise the child later.



    Politically, we see how that plays out though....with sterile men like Rush Limbaugh going from marriage to marriage, always to a younger woman. A purely sexual arrangement.

    Or guys like Trump who "trade up" every 10-15 years....find a new younger wife....and have a child with her. (Tifffany....then Barron).
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProgressivePatriot View Post
    I was not quite sure what forum to place this topic on consensual non monagamy in. It certainly fits the topic of "sexuality" but that is a sub forum of Civil Rights. Never the less, that is where I chose to create it- under sexuality. I will add that while non monogamy is, generally speaking, not a civil rights issue, it could at some point emerge as one . How?? There is a small miniority of those engaged in consetual non-monogamy why want legal recognition for marrige to more than one person- group marriage. If that developed into a movement, it could become an issue like same sex marriage. We are not talking about polygamy here. We are talking about polyamory, a term that many may not be familiar with. There are important differences.

    Polyamory Society


    There is another way that it might emerge as a civil rights issue. "Adultury" The act of a married person having sex with another outside of the marrige is still a crime in quite a few states, although not enforced. However, if the religious right should tighten their grip further, those laws might be enforced, and new one might be passed, resulting in court battles like those about sodomy.

    Anyway, I'm interested in seeing what kind of interest and reaction I get to this topic. Please read the whole article and comment thoughtfully and honestly. Feel free to share your experiences, if any, with any form of non monagamy while in a commited relationship.

    Rethinking monogamy today - CNN.com

    Selected excerpts



    non-monogamy right for you?
    .

    "
    I found this entertaining. Do you know of some states where a married person cannot engage in extramarital sex or couples cannot take on a third sexual partner or engage in trading spouses? If so, any link would be appreciated.

    BTW, Do you think it's a good idea to give the RW new ideas?

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