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Thread: Men need to stop complimenting women immediately

  1. #151
    Veteran Member carpe diem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sassy View Post
    Actually in our sexual harassment classes it was stated that people should not even say things like that. I was all, poppycock, I like compliments!

    Sassy, that suit is beautiful and looks great on you! is not the same as ogling. Noticing a flattering change to my hair, as you mentioned, is nice.

    I agree with you, but it isn't what is taught in many sexual harassment seminars.
    It's not just what is said...it;s how someone chooses to take it. That is the problem.

  2. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by carpe diem View Post
    It's not just what is said...it;s how someone chooses to take it. That is the problem.
    And it's impossible to control how someone takes something - as people can choose to take offense at literally anything.

    So that is an impossible standard for sexual harassment.

  3. #153
    Established Member NeoVsMatrix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    Are you still desperately trying to make this thread about me?

    lol..

    I'm starting to worry about you.
    Don't. I take the topic, and women, in the workplace and everywhere else, very serious, and hold myself - along with all the public figures - to a pretty high standard (way too high for any GOP member to even reach or see, let alone pass)... so I'm good, nothing to worry about.

  4. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeoVsMatrix View Post
    Don't. I take the topic, and women, in the workplace and everywhere else, very serious, and hold myself - along with all the public figures - to a pretty high standard (way too high for any GOP member to even reach or see, let alone pass)... so I'm good, nothing to worry about.
    Your standards about women in the work place wasn't what was starting to worry me. It was your repeated attempts to turn this thread into a discussion about me which was beginning to border on the obsessive.

    So if you want me to stop worrying - refrain from analyzing me at every opportunity. Because it was starting to get weird.

    I don't know what your serious standards are in regards to women in the work place. But I think it's safe to say if you consider mere compliments to be a form of sexual harassment we do not agree.
    Last edited by Jeremy; 6th December 2017 at 10:42 PM.

  5. #155
    quichierbichen
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    No it isn't. Simply hitting on someone is not sexual harassment.
    Hitting on a subordinate carries an inherent threat if they don't comply.
    And what you are missing here is that simply hitting on someone once to see if they are interested is not harassment.
    But they can't not be interested. That's the point. Even saying that they have to wait until you actually penalize them for turning you down is wrong because the tension over that question, creates a hostile work environment. The subordinate has to work under a cloud after that.
    Well maybe to you it is. But to me that statement just sounds ridiculous.

    So what if a co worker or boss asks you for a date? If you aren't interested just say no thanks. I really don't see the harassment there sorry.
    A co-worker, no. A boss, yes, for the reason I just mentioned.
    No - but they could certainly develop some nasty repercussions if they so chose - which was what that post I was responding to was about.
    But the "nasty repercussions" also involve the creation of a hostile work environment, which is at the heart of sexual harassment law.

  6. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    Another poster who can't debate and just resorts to a bevy of personal insults and flame baits.

    I would insult you back - but that is suppose to be against the board rules. So I'll refrain for now. But if you continue to say my head is on backwards, I'm insane,or that I need to get my act together or what else you are going on about simply because I don't agree with you that calling someone hot chocolate is sexual harassment then I'm going to start hurling some insults of my own in your direction.
    Are you cereal?

    Dude, referring to a female black co-worker as "hot chocolate" is absolutely a fucking problem on a lot of goddamn levels, and not only will it get you into trouble, it should get you into trouble.

    And if you cannot see that you have crossed the boundary there, that you are stepping all over that person's personal space in this way, then you really need to back the fuck up and re-think pretty much everything. You may as well tell a woman she belongs in the kitchen, or making babies.

    Stop your bitching, for fucksake. Saying your head is on backwards is a funny way of saying you're all turned around on the issue. Maybe what you should do is grow a sense of humor, instead of spending your time crying about people breaking your balls on this board.
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  7. #157
    Veteran Member Chief's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carpe diem View Post
    It's not just what is said...it;s how someone chooses to take it. That is the problem.
    Often it's exactly because of what's said. Sassy is right in her post. Companies will try to err on the side of caution, but in general it is possible with a combination of what you say and how you say it, to compliment someone without being creepy.

    I do it all the time. When I see a person looking sharp, man or woman, I'll let them know. If I see a person doing well, I'll let them know. I share my appreciation for people's efforts and accomplishments.

    At the same time, I try to know my people. Some folks take things different ways. Some folks are uncomfortable with some things. I try to make it a point with women to always place myself somewhere where it does not feel like I am cornering them. When it comes to hugs, I am reacting, rather than initiating. I try to make my comments relevant and actionable. I try to keep compliments rated G.

    That's all.
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  8. #158
    Galactic Ruler Spookycolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by splansing View Post
    Are you cereal?

    Dude, referring to a female black co-worker as "hot chocolate" is absolutely a fucking problem on a lot of goddamn levels, and not only will it get you into trouble, it should get you into trouble.

    And if you cannot see that you have crossed the boundary there, that you are stepping all over that person's personal space in this way, then you really need to back the fuck up and re-think pretty much everything. You may as well tell a woman she belongs in the kitchen, or making babies.

    Stop your bitching, for fucksake. Saying your head is on backwards is a funny way of saying you're all turned around on the issue. Maybe what you should do is grow a sense of humor, instead of spending your time crying about people breaking your balls on this board.
    I find that funny myself.

  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    I find that funny myself.
    Of course. It isn obnoxious, vile, and racially derogatory.
    Thanks from Hollywood

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by splansing View Post
    Are you cereal?

    Dude, referring to a female black co-worker as "hot chocolate" is absolutely a fucking problem on a lot of goddamn levels, and not only will it get you into trouble, it should get you into trouble.

    And if you cannot see that you have crossed the boundary there, that you are stepping all over that person's personal space in this way, then you really need to back the fuck up and re-think pretty much everything. You may as well tell a woman she belongs in the kitchen, or making babies.

    Stop your bitching, for fucksake. Saying your head is on backwards is a funny way of saying you're all turned around on the issue. Maybe what you should do is grow a sense of humor, instead of spending your time crying about people breaking your balls on this board.
    I read this and you look to be the one bitching to me. If you have such a problem with my comments put me on ignore or something... because throwing a tantrum about them isn't going to accomplish much besides my amusement.

    No - calling someone hot chocolate sounds like a compliment to me. I see nothing wrong with it - at all.

    And the last thing you have done is break my balls. lol And there was nothing humorous about that post I made that comment toward either. And considering how much offense you seem to take at the phrase hot chocolate you are the one who could stand to grow a sense of humor.

    I am simply warning posters who insult me that if they continue I will start insulting them back. That is my way of trying to accommodate the selective rules on this board - where it seems everyone can flame bait and insult me but I better not dare do it to them.

    It really is a special kind of b.s. So I give posters several chances to stop - and if that don't work then the flame war can commence. I believe that is me being more than fair and is as far as I'm willing to go on that.
    Last edited by Jeremy; 9th December 2017 at 02:54 PM.

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