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Thread: Men need to stop complimenting women immediately

  1. #31
    spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ʞɹɐp ǝɥʇ Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macduff View Post
    I don't really have a lot of moves. But showering a woman with compliments is one of them. You take that out of my arsenal and I'm pretty screwed. But here's my real trick. I always mean it. I don't patronize. I only compliment when I actually think so.
    This is my "go to."


    "I got da moves like Jordan...."
    Last edited by Puzzling Evidence; 2nd December 2017 at 07:44 PM.

  2. #32
    THE PUNDIT DemoWhip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djinn View Post
    Football players probably shouldn't be showing their affection for their teammates by touching each others' buttocks. Even if they are into that sort of thing, it should be done in privacy.
    Quote Originally Posted by DemoWhip View Post
    Listen, they've done far more daring things to each other and all in public!
    @Djinn Here you go. One of MANY!! And no, they're usually not Gay.

    Be sure to read the article about what's happening now between men.

    Football Players Kissing on the Pitch: Soccer Players Making Out
    Last edited by DemoWhip; 3rd December 2017 at 09:28 AM.

  3. #33
    Moderator HCProf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    I will say this... As a man, and one who loves women... But even I would not, frankly, want women complimenting me out of the blue, suggestively, and for no reason, especially at work, and not only because I am married. People go to work for the purpose of working, earning money for theur family. Not, generally, to goof off and flirt and just have fun. That's not what an office, or any other workspace, is for. One should be mature and professional at work, regardless of gender. IMHO, anyway.
    There is nothing wrong with having fun at work. It think it depends on the environment and how long everyone has worked together. I work in a couple of environments, the hospital is serious all the time and the HS is a fun place. When you have worked with a group people over a long period of time, the boundaries are wider. Complimenting on a new hair cut/color is not out of boundaries for either man or woman. You also have to check yourself if you are a "touchy feely" person. Best policy these days, keep your hands to yourself. "Huggers" mean well, but if you do not know the person very well...a hug can be misinterpreted. I hope practical jokes do not become a big no no, then the work place would become boring IMO. A student gave me some deer jerky this Fall...and I am not sure why, but it was stinky...very stinky. I threw it in my desk drawer and it stunk up the whole office. LOL Then, I decided it would be a good idea to put the jerky into the file cabinet of a criminal justice teacher, (cop) during a immature moment. It was hilarious listening to them scream about the smell while looking all over the place trying to find it.
    Thanks from The Man and MeBelle

  4. #34
    Human Bean KnotaFrayed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    I will say this... As a man, and one who loves women... But even I would not, frankly, want women complimenting me out of the blue, suggestively, and for no reason, especially at work, and not only because I am married. People go to work for the purpose of working, earning money for theur family. Not, generally, to goof off and flirt and just have fun. That's not what an office, or any other workspace, is for. One should be mature and professional at work, regardless of gender. IMHO, anyway.
    I agree, I think basically it all has to do with the way in which people communicate with one another. Use language and assumption like the POTUS and you're assuming someone thinks you're some sort of stud when they may be thinking ewwww, who is this jerk.....Say to a longtime colleague, 'did you just get your haircut'? and if they say yes, say. 'it's looks very nice' and then turn back to work....

    If you start acting like a teenager with a crush or a "macho" man who thinks they melt every woman that lays eyes on them, then you're acting like a jerk and asking for what you're likely to get. If it's not a swift kick, you know where, you might get a call/letter from their lawyer.

    We all arrived in this world via a union between a man and a woman, or at least the union between sperm and an egg......thus we're never going to, nor should we want to eliminate the sexual attraction part of being human, BUT being civilized means being civilized and we are (hopefully) no longer primitive creatures. Do unto others as we would have them do unto us also applies here, although some seem so clueless or desperate they would love to have a woman hit on them, the same way they hit on women and for some women, it seems the same is true. Still, were they to put themselves in the shoes of someone who is totally NOT interested in their advances or even disgusted by them, they might not do unto others, that which they would not like others, to do unto them.

    What surprises me is how people who appear to know the difference between right and wrong, still have no problems at all doing what they KNOW is wrong. It's not just with these sexual matters, but with so many things. How soon after we here about the uncovering of some scandal and another example is exposed, knowing that it occurred well after publicizing of the incident before it?

    Remorse, shame and any thoughts of making amends seem to be disappearing from modern society. Few recognize, admit to and apologize for their wrongs and the one's that seem to, in this day and age are sometimes the one's that have done the least degree of wrongs, those that have committed the worst, deny, deny, deny with NO hint they feel any sort of regret, remorse or shame about what they have done.
    Thanks from The Man and MeBelle

  5. #35
    Veteran Member Dr.Knuckles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puzzling Evidence View Post
    I generally don't complement women unless I'm on a date. If I'm at work, especially.
    Yeah. Seriously.

    Its like after 60 years even the Archiest of Bunkers is actually starting to clue in- but doing it thinking it’s “the current craze”. Not “what women have been repeatedly asking you to stop doing for 60 years”

  6. #36
    The Un-Holy One The Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HCProf View Post
    There is nothing wrong with having fun at work. It think it depends on the environment and how long everyone has worked together. I work in a couple of environments, the hospital is serious all the time and the HS is a fun place. When you have worked with a group people over a long period of time, the boundaries are wider. Complimenting on a new hair cut/color is not out of boundaries for either man or woman. You also have to check yourself if you are a "touchy feely" person. Best policy these days, keep your hands to yourself. "Huggers" mean well, but if you do not know the person very well...a hug can be misinterpreted. I hope practical jokes do not become a big no no, then the work place would become boring IMO. A student gave me some deer jerky this Fall...and I am not sure why, but it was stinky...very stinky. I threw it in my desk drawer and it stunk up the whole office. LOL Then, I decided it would be a good idea to put the jerky into the file cabinet of a criminal justice teacher, (cop) during a immature moment. It was hilarious listening to them scream about the smell while looking all over the place trying to find it.
    I'm fine with jokes lol As long as it doesn't go too far... I don't know. Honestly, culturally, I find many things different here than, for example, in Russia. I have a friend, he is originally from Russia too, was a university math professor over there, and then became one here also. Whenever we talk, he rails and rants about how disrespectful students are here, calling him and other professors by their first name, etc.

    It's true, in Russia, the relationship between professor and student is MUCH more cold and formal and distant. The acamics have a clearly superior status, and their students are to always acknowledge and respect this, when addressing him or her. Here, it is normal for a prof to give students their email address, if they have questions or need help outside office hours. Over there, both (emailing your prof or dropping by at his private office) would be inconceivable. Students are not to bother the professors outside the class, unless invited. Not to mention all the students stand up when the professor enters the auditorium. Unheard of here, obviously lmao These cultural differences are making it difficult for my friend, really. He's already transferred from job to job, at different universities, because just cannot get along well at any place here...

    That's a whole other issue, cultures. Another example: a young woman I work with, she is from Sri Lanka originally. I gather, among her people, standing really close to someone when talking to them is a sign of close friendship or whatever, not sure. Maybe it's because it is a tiny, overpopulated island... Just, she likes to really get right up in a person's face during a conversation. Me, and this is a Russian thing, we like our personal space. To put it mildly. So, when me and her talk at the office, we have often ended up kinda dancing around awkwardly, she'd step up to me, and I would involuntarily step back, away from her, but she would just step closer again, and on it goes lol Some of the others thought it was funny. Not for me. I finally all out just told her, I don't like when someone stands so close to me like that. Don't think I hurt her feelings. She understood. Stands further away now. I am grateful.

    But, yeah, these things are often damn complicated...
    Last edited by The Man; 3rd December 2017 at 07:24 AM.
    Thanks from MeBelle

  7. #37
    Veteran Member Dr.Knuckles's Avatar
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    If you want to compliment a woman, compliment her on her work or something she did. Not her fucking appearance.

    Unless you’re actually in a moment of intimacy.


    Good - “I’m glad we got this moment together here in the broom closet. I got your text and I had a great time too. You look so hot in that dress”

    Bad - “Next, Jen from Finance will be taking on the Wilkins file. Jen I hope you wear that dress you look so hot in when you meet them. Sales will double, am I right everyone?
    Thanks from The Man

  8. #38
    Moderator HCProf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    I'm fine with jokes lol As long as it doesn't go too far... I don't know. Honestly, culturally, I find many things different here than, for example, in Russia. I have a friend, he is originally from Russia too, was a university math professor over there, and then became one here also. Whenever we talk, he rails and rants about how disrespectful students are here, calling him and other professors by their first name, etc.

    It's true, in Russia, the relationship between professor and student is MUCH more cold and formal and distant. The acamics have a clearly superior status, and their students are to always acknowledge and respect this, when addressing him or her. Here, it is normal for a prof to give students their email address, if they have questions or need help outside office hours. Over there, both (emailing your prof or dropping by at his private office) would be inconceivable. Students are not to both the professors outside the class, unless invited. Not to mention all the students stand up when the professor enters the auditorium. Unheard of here, obviously lmao These cultural differences are making it difficult for my friend, really. He's already transferred from job to job, at different universities, because just cannot get along well at any place here...

    That's a whole other issue, cultures. Another example: a young woman I work with, she is from Sri Lanka originally. I gather, among her people, standing really close to someone when talking to them is a sign of close friendship or whatever, not sure. Maybe it's because it is a tiny, overpopulated island... Just, she likes to really get right up in a person's face during a conversation. Me, and this is a Russian thing, we like our personal space. To put it mildly. So, when me and her talk at the office, we have often ended up kinda dancing around awkwardly, she'd step up to me, and I would involuntarily step back, away from her, but she would just step closer again, and on it goes lol Some of the others thought it was funny. Not for me. I finally all out just told her, I don't like when someone stands so close to me like that. Don't think I hurt her feelings. She understood. Stands further away now. I am grateful.

    But, yeah, these things are often damn complicated...
    I have taken a totally different approach in my college classes over the last few years. Instead of authoritarian, I am more of a coach on the sidelines. For me, the coach role works better. I ask that all students call me by my first name. Some do and some don't and prefer to use Professor. I have a campus email but I give out my phone number and encourage them to text me if they need me. I want to establish a "bond" from the beginning because it reduces the amount of students who drop my class...which my personal class retention goal is 100% and I consistently meet that goal. I still take drops personally after all these years. Working with multicultural students can be a challenge and you learn by the mistakes you make. I had a Arab/Muslim student in one of my nursing classes and we were working on a procedure on the SIMs simulator and I touched his hand to guide him through the procedure (catheter placement). He jumped 3 feet as if I had burned him.
    Thanks from The Man

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spookycolt View Post
    This current craze has simply reached a point where men need to start looking out for themselves whether at work or in their personal lives.

    Its so bad that even looking at a woman could get you tagged as a sexual harasser.

    You no longer can say that "that dress looks good on you", or "your eyes are beautiful" because a woman may very well take it the wrong way and drag you into court now.

    You even need to stop complimenting your wife because, god forbid you get divorced, she may claim that you mentally abused her for years with your sexual harassment.

    Hugging your daughter or letting her sit on your lap at a ball game, depending on her age, instantly makes you either a pervert or a pedophile, or both so you definitely want to avoid that.

    And if you want to find yourself sitting in HR very quickly just try doing this to a woman you like at work.

    There is a spot in the unemployment line for you tomorrow.



    Until this irrationality passes we men have to watch our backs.

    There are of course many legitimate cases of wrong doing out there but it is now spilling over into mainstream culture and its become all the rage to be a victim of this which is sad because it takes away from the women who actually are suffering through this.
    Maybe you will be sexually harassed one day, and then you will have to eat your own words. I have tried to be nice to you in the past but I really wonder... What the fuck.... Are you just really attention starved or stupid?
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  10. #40
    HayJenn Fan Boi knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonade View Post
    Maybe you will be sexually harassed one day, and then you will have to eat your own words. I have tried to be nice to you in the past but I really wonder... What the fuck.... Are you just really attention starved or stupid?
    Yes!

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