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Thread: Why sexually harassed / assaulted women wait?

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    Veteran Member Chief's Avatar
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    Why sexually harassed / assaulted women wait?

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/je...cid=spartanntp

    Interesting read from Jessica Hahn. Obviously every woman would have her own reason, but I think the biggest one for many is shame.
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    spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ʞɹɐp ǝɥʇ Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    Jessica Hahn was so shamed by what happened to her that she posed nude for Playboy three (3) times. You would think that the illegal pay-off that she received of $279,000 would have told you everything that you needed to know about what kind of human being she was.
    Last edited by Puzzling Evidence; 20th December 2017 at 02:29 PM.
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    Veteran Member PACE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chief View Post
    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/je...cid=spartanntp

    Interesting read from Jessica Hahn. Obviously every woman would have her own reason, but I think the biggest one for many is shame.
    Retribution, upbringing, self doubt, gaslighting, there are many reasons why women wait, some women who endure abusive husbands suffer for years, and then the kids grow up and they leave.

    I don't agree with it, but I understand it.
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    The Un-Holy One The Man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PACE View Post
    Retribution, upbringing, self doubt, gaslighting, there are many reasons why women wait, some women who endure abusive husbands suffer for years, and then the kids grow up and they leave.

    I don't agree with it, but I understand it.
    What does "gaslighting" mean?

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    Veteran Member PACE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    What does "gaslighting" mean?
    It's from an old Hitchcock Movie, "Gas light" where you manipulate someone's view on an event and try to convince them it:

    Didn't occur

    It was their fault

    or they are crazy

    The movie

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chief View Post
    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/je...cid=spartanntp

    Interesting read from Jessica Hahn. Obviously every woman would have her own reason, but I think the biggest one for many is shame.
    The shame argument doesn't add up with me - because if these accusers were too humiliated or embarrassed why then did they go to the press and announce these incidents to the entire world?

    People experiencing shame do not do that.

    Some of these accusations may be and likely are true. But I'm fairly certainly many of them are not or at least exaggerated. In any case; a court of law is where guilt should be determined, not on the pages of tabloid journalism. And certainly not by politicians in congress- who have no right (or at least shoudn't have) to force any resignation over mere accusations. This undermines our democratic Republic and takes power away from the people.
    Last edited by Jeremy; 20th December 2017 at 04:05 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    The shame argument doesn't add up with me - because if these accusers were too humiliated or embarrassed why then did they go to the press and announce these incidents to the entire world?

    People experiencing shame do not do that.

    Some of these accusations may be and likely are true. But I'm fairly certainly many of them are not or at least exaggerated. In any case; a court of law is where guilt should be determined, not on the pages of tabloid journalism. And certainly not by politicians in congress- who have no right (or at least shoudn't have) to force any resignation over mere accusations. This undermines our democratic Republic and takes power away from the people.
    Just the being put in the media before police are brought in is suspect...

    However, what @PACE has been saying is accurate about the psychological reasons why so few people report those types of crimes, the true predators become practised in grooming their victims so that they will not say anything.

    This is a tricky one, and often there's little to no evidence to start. Which ESPECIALLY is true when a bunch of accusations turn out to be proven false, because that just raises the bar of doubt on the next accusers.

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    spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ʞɹɐp ǝɥʇ Puzzling Evidence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    The shame argument doesn't add up with me - because if these accusers were too humiliated or embarrassed why then did they go to the press and announce these incidents to the entire world?

    People experiencing shame do not do that.

    Some of these accusations may be and likely are true. But I'm fairly certainly many of them are not or at least exaggerated. In any case; a court of law is where guilt should be determined, not on the pages of tabloid journalism. And certainly not by politicians in congress- who have no right (or at least shoudn't have) to force any resignation over mere accusations. This undermines our democratic Republic and takes power away from the people.
    I believe that most/a good bit of them are true, but certainly not all of them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bmanmcfly View Post
    Just the being put in the media before police are brought in is suspect...

    However, what @PACE has been saying is accurate about the psychological reasons why so few people report those types of crimes, the true predators become practised in grooming their victims so that they will not say anything.

    This is a tricky one, and often there's little to no evidence to start. Which ESPECIALLY is true when a bunch of accusations turn out to be proven false, because that just raises the bar of doubt on the next accusers.
    But they are reporting them - to the press so the entire world can know about it. It seems to me that any victim who truly felt shame would treat with the incident more furtively.

    In any case - my country needs to take a page from yours and lift the statute of limitations on all significant sex crimes. That way these matters can be addressed where it belongs - in a court room.

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    Spock of Vulcan Ian Jeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Man View Post
    What does "gaslighting" mean?
    In addition to PACE's response, "gaslighting" has its own Wikipedia entry:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

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