All Andy Borowitz Quotes

boontito

Future Staff
Jan 2008
101,973
89,819
West Coast 4 Life
Kavanaugh’s unpleasant discovery that the Supreme Court has “absolutely no drink specials” has left him wondering if his bruising confirmation battle “was even worth it.”
 

Ian Jeffrey

Council Hall
Mar 2013
71,574
39,562
Vulcan, down the street from Darth Vader
According to the aides, Trump is “furious” at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him “very unfairly.”

Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average