Andy Borowitz: The Life Changing Magic of Impeaching Trump

May 2013
19,870
20,008
N Oregon Coast
I'm certain that Borowitz fans like Rev and Mac are really going to enjoy this. :D

Over the past five years, millions of Americans have ascended to a higher plane of fulfillment by tidying up their homes. By talking to our possessions, one by one, and asking if they spark joy, we have achieved a kind of contentment we never dreamed possible.​
Now it’s time to tidy up a residence that belongs to all of us: the White House.​
At first, this seems like a daunting task. After all, the White House has a hundred and thirty-two rooms. There is much culling to be done.​
But there’s no reason to despair. Many useless things have already been hauled away. Reince Priebus, John Kelly, Steve Bannon, Kirstjen Nielsen, Michael Flynn, John Bolton, Sean Spicer, Hope Hicks, Sarah Huckabee Sanders—none of them sparked joy. And now they are all gone. And Anthony Scaramucci, who sparked joy as briefly as those paisley pants you immediately regretted buying at H&M—he is gone, too.​
Clearly, though, more culling remains to be done.​
We must look at Donald Trump and ask ourselves, “Does this spark joy?” And, although the answer to that question might be somewhat different in Russia, North Korea, and Turkey, the answer here is a resounding no.​
Remember how, once you tidied up your dwelling, you discovered hidden treasures buried under all of those needless possessions? Well, once that garish orange thing that sparks no joy has been removed from the Oval Office, you’ll be amazed what you’ll find underneath. Things you forgot you even had, like democracy.​
In the video above, from last weekend’s New Yorker Festival, I speak about the happiness we can attain by decluttering the country of Trump. Much like Marie Kondo, the authors of the United States Constitution gave us a unique tool for improving our surroundings: impeachment. And the Twenty-fifth Amendment is pretty good, too.​

 
Jul 2014
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midwest
"I actually would really like to meet [Trump] someday......on visiting day."
I think they do have "visiting days" at the White House.

Remember, you'd probably have to go through some TSA-type security screening before you get in...
 
Jun 2014
64,225
38,948
Cleveland, Ohio
I think they do have "visiting days" at the White House.

Remember, you'd probably have to go through some TSA-type security screening before you get in...
I think Mr. Borowitz was referring to the Big House, not the white house.
 
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Jul 2014
39,768
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midwest
I think Mr. Borowitz was referring to the Big House, not the white house.
Perhaps you weren't clear on that point.

As an added bonus, I do like to poke fun at other members, sometimes.

And, I think you can take it.

But, if you DO visit the WH, don't touch the furniture...
 
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kmiller1610

Former Staff
Mar 2007
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How about a breath of fresh air..... journalism from NPR (notice how Whistle blowers have become yesterday's gambit). Feel free to quote the bits that support your views. All the major views are explored and most importantly, you can't tell where the author stands.

Get Caught Up: 4 Big Questions About The Trump-Ukraine Affair

As Mulvaney said Thursday, people in Washington expect there to be a cover-up — but the administration has admitted many of its actions. He acknowledged that Trump expected concessions from Ukraine's president and he also pointed out that Trump has released the account of his phone call.
Neither Trump nor Mulvaney, in short, are hiding or apologizing. What's there is there, they've said.
So how much of the pending investigation is about accumulating information — and how much of it is about keeping the story alive while Democrats still can? And how much is about staving off the point at which Democrats must decide how to act in light of all that has been revealed?
Proceeding without a recorded vote is a way for Pelosi to keep her options open. If impeachment becomes a political loser, she and Democrats could back away without having opened a door they might be expected to then close with a difficult vote on impeachment itself.
Would Pelosi only take that step if she feels the political landscape had changed enough that she could do so safely?

Or would she trigger the Senate trial even if she believed it would damage her own party politically — or, even more consequentially, remove a president within a year of the day that voters expect to have their own say in the matter?
 
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Jun 2014
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Slightly heavy for the Political Humor forum, donca think?

Still, good recommendation.

Thanks!
 

kmiller1610

Former Staff
Mar 2007
33,221
6,652
Slightly heavy for the Political Humor forum, donca think?

Still, good recommendation.

Thanks!
An old habit of mine to inappropriately hitchhike. Had to put it somewhere. The piece shows the logic of people's actions without judgement, which make is an astonishing, clarifying piece.