Chores and divorce lol

The Man

Former Staff
Jul 2011
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Found this old article from 2012:

Updated | Couples may be better off living in a "traditional" household where women do all the housework if they want to stay together, according to a report from the Oslo and Akershus University College of Applied Science.

Norwegian researchers were interested to see how married and cohabiting men and women divided housework and childcare throughout various life stages. They analyzed two separate studies involving nearly 20,000 men and women aged 18 to 79: the study of Life Course, Generation and Gender, and the study of the Norwegian Life Course, Ageing, and Generations. Participants respectively answered questions about the division of housework and childcare; their attitudes toward gender equality; as well as other variables like life stage and social class.

The results showed 65 percent of couples equally or near-equally divided childcare, but not housework: Women reported doing all or almost all of the work in 11 percent of couples and "somewhat more of the work" in 60 percent of couples. About 25 percent of couples divided the work more equally, with younger couples, childless couples, and couples where the woman had a full-time job among those more likely to split domestic chores.

Researchers did not find an association between a traditional share of housework (women do most of the work) and a lower risk of divorce — but they did report untraditional couples had a greater risk for divorce. Men who did as much or more of the housework were more likely to get divorced than couples where the woman did most of the housework over a period of four years.

"The more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate," said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Gender Equality At Home," according to AFP. While researchers found no or very little cause-and-effect, they believe that the observation could be due to "modern" attitudes.

It may be traditional couples "hold a high value of marriage and a more traditional attitude towards divorce," while untraditional couples "may hold less of a traditional or modern view of marriage, whereby marital dissatisfaction more easily leads to marital break-up," according to the report.

"Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage" as being less sacred, Hansen said, stressing it was all about values. "In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage much easier if they divorce."

Researchers said sharing equal responsibility for domestic chores doesn't necessarily contribute to contentment, and that the lack of equality at home and quality of life was surprising. "One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite," Hansen said.

He said that the correlation could be because couples are happier when they have clearly-defined roles in the relationship where people aren't stepping on each other's toes. "There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight," he added.

The results from the latest survey appears to contradict a recent study carried out by researchers at Cambridge University earlier this year that found men were actually happier when sharing the housework.

The Cambridge study was based on previously collected data from 30,000 people in 34 countries. Researchers found that men had benefited the more they contributed to household chores, but researchers suggested that this could also be because they preferred a quiet life doing housework than having a disgruntled other half.

This story has been updated to include more information on study methods and conclusions.

I think this all a bunch of bs, personally.

I do a hell of a lot around our house, from mowing the lawn to fixing all kinds of stuff that gets broken lol

It has not made me love my wife any less, or her me...

Maybe we are both not that "modern" in our outlook, we are both a bit more, I would say, old fashioned and "traditional" people from non-Western backgrounds... Not progressive Norwegians, certainly haha

Maybe that's it...
 
Feb 2015
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all i am going to say is that i am one spoiled girl.

its not the chores that will make a divorce... it is the very little things. Which way the toilet paper goes on the roll, drink out of a glass and not the carton....
 
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Sep 2016
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I think if the man does the outside work and the woman does the inside work that has to be done 1 weekly that would be good.
Not saying it can't be the other way around it's just usually I've seen it work like above.

If both work then everyday stuff should be 50%

If one stays home then the everyday things should be done by the person home every day,

Never divorced, not to say life as always been a bowl of cherries, but the above works for us

PS: until you get to the point you can hire somebody to do everything, inside outside and everyday stuff it's not so bad.
 
Aug 2018
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The traditional roles were that the man and the woman woke up at the first crack of dawn and both began a combination of physical and skilled labour that ended at dusk, when they would relax.

So while husband was pulling the plow, wife was cooking. They ate. Husband went back to the plow and wife cleaned up. Then husband chopped wood and mended the fence while wife did domestic chores. Husband removed a stump while wife made lunch. Then husband oiled leather while wife cleaned up.

Then suddenly the world changed and husband came home from work by 530. But wife was still cooking.

So husband sat down and watched tv while wife cooked. They ate. Then husband grabbed a nice book and relaxed while wife cleaned. Then husband played toys with the kids while wife did domestic chores. Then Saturday husband went out to play golf and wife still had all the cooking, all the cleaning.... And husband was off.

That's what changed.

There is no rational way to expect the modern world to give men a 5 day, 40 hour work week while women get a 7 day, every hour of daylight workweek.
 
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Every woman I know says "I have to do everything. He doesn't do anything".

Every man I know says " she insists that everything be done her way, the way she was it, at exactly the time she wants it done, in the order she wants it done and if I have any different idea or would like to do something else she gets mad and says fine, I'll do it all myself"
 
Mar 2012
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I think if the man does the outside work and the woman does the inside work that has to be done 1 weekly that would be good.
Not saying it can't be the other way around it's just usually I've seen it work like above.

If both work then everyday stuff should be 50%

If one stays home then the everyday things should be done by the person home every day,

Never divorced, not to say life as always been a bowl of cherries, but the above works for us

PS: until you get to the point you can hire somebody to do everything, inside outside and everyday stuff it's not so bad.
Yea I agree. There are a lot of women (raises hand) that while we appreciate our spouse offering to help with chores, we would rather do them ourselves. Even unloading a dishwasher drives me crazy. I cant find anything at all. lol I end up doing it all over anyway. I think a lot of women are pretty fussy. We like laundry done a certain way or a bed made a certain way. I am pretty set in my ways.
 
Mar 2012
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Every woman I know says "I have to do everything. He doesn't do anything".

Every man I know says " she insists that everything be done her way, the way she was it, at exactly the time she wants it done, in the order she wants it done and if I have any different idea or would like to do something else she gets mad and says fine, I'll do it all myself"
Very true. I used to be like that when I was first married. Hubby would try to do stuff and then I would redo it. It got to the point where he wanted to just get out of my way because it got done faster. I now work from home quite a bit so I do most of the indoor things. He has a hellish commute and doesnt get to do much during the week but handles the outdoor things on the weekends. I think it works well for us because I have everything done when he gets home so we can do whatever we want at night other than chores.
 
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Ian Jeffrey

Council Hall
Mar 2013
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It's not just "couples," either. I have a part-time roommate (comes into town frequently for business, but lives elsewhere with his family) who is incapable of doing things, much less the way they need to be done (for whatever reason). I mean anything, as in can't clean up after himself. He never learned certain basic adult skills that people usually are taught as children.
 
Mar 2012
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New Hampshire
It's not just "couples," either. I have a part-time roommate (comes into town frequently for business, but lives elsewhere with his family) who is incapable of doing things, much less the way they need to be done (for whatever reason). I mean anything, as in can't clean up after himself. He never learned certain basic adult skills that people usually are taught as children.
I know someone like that as well. I dont blame someone for not knowing how to cook or properly do laundry if they never were taught, but those that cant clean up? I really dont understand that. The person I know leaves food around and doesnt even put it in the trash. I dont get it. Its quite disgusting.
 

Ian Jeffrey

Council Hall
Mar 2013
80,290
51,001
Vulcan, down the street from Darth Vader
I dont blame someone for not knowing how to cook....
Oh, he can cook, and better than I (not a big hurdle to jump over, though). That's about it, though.
... or properly do laundry if they never were taught, but those that cant clean up? I really dont understand that. The person I know leaves food around and doesnt even put it in the trash. I dont get it. Its quite disgusting.
Agreed. Similar problem (occasionally), among other less annoying ones.