Chris Pratt's 9 Rules For Living


Apr 2010
Pittsburgh, PA

"Breathe. If you don't, you will suffocate."

"You have a soul. Be careful with it."

"Don't be a turd. If you are strong, be a protector. If you are smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons, so do not wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that."

"When giving a dog medicine, put the medicine in a little piece of hamburger and they won't even know they're eating medicine."

"It doesn't matter what it is. Earn it. A good deed. Reach out to someone in pain. Be of service. It feels good and it's good for your soul."

"God is real. God loves you, God wants the best for you. Believe that, I do."

"If you have to poop at a party, but you're embarrassed because you're going to stink up the bathroom, just do what I do. Lock the door, sit down, get all of the pee out first. And then, once all the pee is done, poop, flush, boom! You minimize the amount of time that the poop's touching the air. Because if you poop first, it takes you longer to pee and then you're peeing on top of it, stirring up the poop particles, create a cloud, goes out, then everyone at the party will know that you pooped. Just trust me, it's science."

"Learn to pray. It's easy, and it is so good for your soul."

"Nobody is perfect. People will tell you that you are perfect just the way that you are, you are not! You are imperfect. You always will be, but there is a powerful force that designed you that way, and if you are willing to accept that, you will have grace. And grace is a gift. Like the freedom that we enjoy in this country, that grace was paid for with somebody else's blood. Do not forget that. Don't take that for granted."
This was infinitely braver than what DeNiro said.
Likes: 4 people


Former Staff
Jun 2007
What if he had said something like "God is not real. Christianity has some great moral teachings, but you shouldn't pretend to believe in God, just to make others accept you, if you don't really believe that"?


"Don't say you are a Christian if you don't follow the teachings of Christ."


"Meditate, pray, or just think, honestly, about your life and what kind of person you are once in a while."
May 2014
I presume you've seen the movie Passengers, Wonderer? My favorite science fiction film of ALL time, at least for now; I rank it just ahead of The Martian and 2001: A Space Odyssey.
I have NOT, though the afternoon radio show I listen to has discussed it extensively (and enthusiastically.)


Former Staff
Jan 2008
Aside from a far fetched analogy of Trump stinking up the bathroom way more than necessary.. i wouldn't know what any of this has to do with DeNiro. Did i miss something ?
Shhh...It's just Mac "Hyde" trying to pretend that he's not Mac "Jekyll" much of the time here.

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