Darwin Award, right there...

The Man

Former Staff
Jul 2011
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Gotta be one of the dumbest ways to die in the world...

Last night, a Russian military transport train stopped for the night in a small East Siberian town of Petrovsk-Zabaykalsky. The train was carrying large numbers of troops and armor to massive upcoming joint drills with China and Mongolia: 300,000 Troops Set to Participate in Largest War Games Since Cold War, Russia Announces

In Petrovsk-Zabaykalsky, a couple of the soldiers got off the train, and went to a nearby bar, where a guy named Anton Zhdanov

characterized by local residents as a thug, a criminal, with numerous convictions, who was known to deal drugs in town and shake down local businesses for "protection" was celebrating his 29th birthday with a couple dozen other human trash buddies of his.

The soldiers began flirting with some local girls at the bar. Zhdanov and his company didn't like this, it seems. Russian men do get territorial about their women...

A fight erupted, with the soldiers getting beat up and knifed. They ran back to their train. Zhdanov and his drunken goons chased after them. But their way was barred by heavily armed sentries posted around the train.

The idiots, full of vodka, tried to attack the troops, throwing stones at them, and Zhdanov allegedly drew on pistol on them. In turn, he received his just rewards: a full blast to the chest from an AK.

It seems that seeing their boss riddled with bullets sobered up the others a little bit, because they all ran away in various directions, and police are looking for them now


And many local people are thanking the military for getting rid of Zhdanov for them, because he had, it seems, terrorized this town for years with his gang, getting away with all of it: "Ему все сходило с рук": кто атаковал воинский эшелон в Забайкалье - РИА Новости, 28.08.2018

Typical Russia... So many such lawless little towns out there, where guys like this Zhdanov do whatever the fuck they want, Until they mess with wrong people ;)
 
Jan 2016
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Colorado
People in bars do stupid things, especially when they're drunk. I remember reading about some guy in a bar here in America, who swallowed a live newt on a dare.

He was dead within 20 minutes. Newts are HIGHLY poisonous. Almost all predators avoid them in the wild.
 
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Jul 2015
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One of my more interesting Darwin stories was about the guy robbing a liquor store. After the clerk cleaned out the register, he told the clerk to hand him a bottle of whiskey. The clerk asked him if he was 21. The guy showed the clerk his divers license. The police were waiting for him when he got home.
 
Jan 2016
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54,197
Colorado
One of my more interesting Darwin stories was about the guy robbing a liquor store. After the clerk cleaned out the register, he told the clerk to hand him a bottle of whiskey. The clerk asked him if he was 21. The guy showed the clerk his divers license. The police were waiting for him when he got home.
Well, that's not a Darwin story, that's a dumb criminal story! A Darwin Award is given, posthumously, to someone who has done something stupid to remove themselves from the human gene pool. Your guy just removed himself from human society for a period of time by getting a sentence (presumably) for armed robbery. After being released from prison, he could (presumably) go on to mate and reproduce. My guy, the guy who swallowed a newt, could not. No more mating or reproducing for him, you see.

I once gave my nephew a book titled America's 1001 Dumbest Criminals for a Xmas present, so I love those stories, too. One of my favorites in that genre was about a fellow who sauntered into a 7-11 down in Texas, sidled up to the cashier, and warned her: "Hey, you! I'm gonna be back in ten minutes to ROB this place!!"

Heh, heh. Thanks for the warning!! And, yes, there was a story about a bank robber who wrote the hold-up note on the back of one of his own personal checks.
 
Jan 2016
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Colorado
Well, that's not a Darwin story, that's a dumb criminal story! A Darwin Award is given, posthumously, to someone who has done something stupid to remove themselves from the human gene pool. Your guy just removed himself from human society for a period of time by getting a sentence (presumably) for armed robbery. After being released from prison, he could (presumably) go on to mate and reproduce. My guy, the guy who swallowed a newt, could not. No more mating or reproducing for him, you see.

I once gave my nephew a book titled America's 1001 Dumbest Criminals for a Xmas present, so I love those stories, too. One of my favorites in that genre was about a fellow who sauntered into a 7-11 down in Texas, sidled up to the cashier, and warned her: "Hey, you! I'm gonna be back in ten minutes to ROB this place!!"

Heh, heh. Thanks for the warning!! And, yes, there was a story about a bank robber who wrote the hold-up note on the back of one of his own personal checks.
By the way, that nephew has gone on to get a Master's Degree in Criminal Justice. Maybe I inspired him with my Xmas gift of many years ago!!
 
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The Man

Former Staff
Jul 2011
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Toronto
By the way, that nephew has gone on to get a Master's Degree in Criminal Justice. Maybe I inspired him with my Xmas gift of many years ago!!
My nephew is studying Criminology too lol Only, he is doing nerdy lab stuff, criminal sciences. He always loved the CSI shows on TV, always wanted to be like those people :)
 
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My nephew is studying Criminology too lol Only, he is doing nerdy lab stuff, criminal sciences. He always loved the CSI shows on TV, always wanted to be like those people :)
My nephew is now thinking about going back to school for a law degree. Right now, he is helping former prisoners transition back into civilian life. Good work, that, but not well-paying.

And he has a fearsomely long commute, living in northern Colorado and having to work in Denver. He can't afford to live in Denver, still lives at home with his Mom and Dad. But he's at least got a HUGE basement all to himself.
 
Jan 2016
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What a lousy uncle. That book probably convinced him it would be easy.:)
One of the other REALLY funny stories in that book was about a drunk driver in Alaska, who had driven off the road into a snowbank, and thought he was still on the road, driving! Police officer who came along realized this, and thought he would have himself some fun. So he stopped his car, got out of it, and came up alongside the driver's side of the car with the drunk, pretending like he was running! The driver, startled, tried to push on the gas! The police officer obliged him by pretending to run faster!! The driver eventually gave up, and was duly arrested.

Here's the funny part: Even at the trial, the drunk driver didn't realize what had taken place! Said the cop was the fastest human being he had ever seen! LOLOLOL!!
 
Sep 2013
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On a hill
One of the other REALLY funny stories in that book was about a drunk driver in Alaska, who had driven off the road into a snowbank, and thought he was still on the road, driving! Police officer who came along realized this, and thought he would have himself some fun. So he stopped his car, got out of it, and came up alongside the driver's side of the car with the drunk, pretending like he was running! The driver, startled, tried to push on the gas! The police officer obliged him by pretending to run faster!! The driver eventually gave up, and was duly arrested.

Here's the funny part: Even at the trial, the drunk driver didn't realize what had taken place! Said the cop was the fastest human being he had ever seen! LOLOLOL!!
That is funny. I don't believe it, but it is funny.
 
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