Foster care and cultural compatibility

The Man

Former Staff
Jul 2011
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Toronto
I personally know a couple that adopted first a girl from Russia who was 2 years old and then later another Russian child also 2 years old. At first the girl seemed the more well behaved although she was withdrawn and spent much of her time sitting alone and playing very little with other children. The little boy was constantly in trouble, jumping off roofs and getting into fights. The couple that adopted them couldn't have children of their own and adopted them when already they were well into their 40's. They tried everything to bring them up and make them as happy as they could loving them as if they were their own and never gave up on either one of them. Now the children are in their late 20's. The girl, the one we all thought was the more well behaved was actually the one that for lack of a better word is a disaster. She has been arrested so many times I think the parents have lost count. She hangs around with thugs, she uses drugs and has never been able to even get her high school diploma. The unskilled jobs she manages to get are always short lived and she eventually gets fired. She still lives with the parents breaking her mothers heart over and over. She disappears for days and sometimes weeks at a time without a word. Then comes back with no explanation, nothing. As this goes on and on. Her parents have paid for rehabilitation I don't know how many times exactly but at least 3 that I know about. None of them worked for longer than a couple of weeks and then she's back at it. Now the parents in are close to 70 or so and they should be enjoying themselves but they can't. The fear one day the police are going to show up to tell them their daughter is dead.

Next the son, the one they thought was going to be the bad one found himself a nice girl and settled down and finished high school and got himself a trade. From the day he finished high school he has been in no fights and makes good steady money doing an honest days' work.

Go figure.
Heh....

I mean, orphans get fucked up over there, God knows, growing up in the horrible state run system that they do: Sucks to be an orphan...

But, 2 year olds, babies, would have been alright when they got out, I am pretty sure. Whatever screwed up that girl, is to be found in her NEW home, in America, methinks. Not necessarily the parents are to blame; but, perhaps negative influence of peers at her new school, etc...
 
Jun 2014
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Heh....

I mean, orphans get fucked up over there, God knows, growing up in the horrible state run system that they do: Sucks to be an orphan...

But, 2 year olds, babies, would have been alright when they got out, I am pretty sure. Whatever screwed up that girl, is to be found in her NEW home, in America, methinks. Not necessarily the parents are to blame; but, perhaps negative influence of peers at her new school, etc...
Nope. A famously unethical study after WW2 proved neglecting a baby's emotional needs in the first few months of life is devastating.

"*Skip*

In the United States, 1944, an experiment was conducted on 40 newborn infants to determine whether individuals could thrive alone on basic physiological needs without affection. Twenty newborn infants were housed in a special facility where they had caregivers who would go in to feed them, bathe them and change their diapers, but they would do nothing else. The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary, never communicating with them. All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile, none of the babies becoming ill.

The experiment was halted after four months, by which time, at least half of the babies had died at that point. At least two more died even after being rescued and brought into a more natural familial environment. There was no physiological cause for the babies' deaths; they were all physically very healthy. Before each baby died, there was a period where they would stop verbalizing and trying to engage with their caregivers, generally stop moving, nor cry or even change expression; death would follow shortly. The babies who had "given up" before being rescued, died in the same manner, even though they had been removed from the experimental conditions.

The conclusion was that nurturing is actually a very vital need in humans.

*Skip*"

 
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Sep 2016
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My own world
Heh....

I mean, orphans get fucked up over there, God knows, growing up in the horrible state run system that they do: Sucks to be an orphan...

But, 2 year olds, babies, would have been alright when they got out, I am pretty sure. Whatever screwed up that girl, is to be found in her NEW home, in America, methinks. Not necessarily the parents are to blame; but, perhaps negative influence of peers at her new school, etc...
Madeline is right. Many of the orphans from Russia adopted from orphanages grew up to have issues and it is related to the lack of one on one nurturing so young. I understand over in Russia the orphanages were understaffed and it was all the staff could do to make sure all the babies were feed and changed that little or no time was spent picking them up and cuddling them. This and the fact that the staff kept changing so the children really didn't make a connection to any one person. Sad really. It goes to show you how important a mom or dad's touch can be even so young, a simple kiss on the forehead and just being in a stable environment were there is at least one steady person in a baby's life.

I have attached a link that confirms all this
 

The Man

Former Staff
Jul 2011
48,589
36,421
Toronto
Nope. A famously unethical study after WW2 proved neglecting a baby's emotional needs in the first few months of life is devastating.

"*Skip*

In the United States, 1944, an experiment was conducted on 40 newborn infants to determine whether individuals could thrive alone on basic physiological needs without affection. Twenty newborn infants were housed in a special facility where they had caregivers who would go in to feed them, bathe them and change their diapers, but they would do nothing else. The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary, never communicating with them. All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile, none of the babies becoming ill.

The experiment was halted after four months, by which time, at least half of the babies had died at that point. At least two more died even after being rescued and brought into a more natural familial environment. There was no physiological cause for the babies' deaths; they were all physically very healthy. Before each baby died, there was a period where they would stop verbalizing and trying to engage with their caregivers, generally stop moving, nor cry or even change expression; death would follow shortly. The babies who had "given up" before being rescued, died in the same manner, even though they had been removed from the experimental conditions.

The conclusion was that nurturing is actually a very vital need in humans.

*Skip*"

Madeline is right. Many of the orphans from Russia adopted from orphanages grew up to have issues and it is related to the lack of one on one nurturing so young. I understand over in Russia the orphanages were understaffed and it was all the staff could do to make sure all the babies were feed and changed that little or no time was spent picking them up and cuddling them. This and the fact that the staff kept changing so the children really didn't make a connection to any one person. Sad really. It goes to show you how important a mom or dad's touch can be even so young, a simple kiss on the forehead and just being in a stable environment were there is at least one steady person in a baby's life.

I have attached a link that confirms all this
Very interesting info, fascinating, thank you.

Will read up more on this :)

I don't understand why he was in foster care to begin with.
Who???

I don't think the dad was himself in foster care lol

Who do you mean?
 
Jun 2011
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God Bless Texas
The kids. I am not following the story the way it's written. IDK why the girls were taken, where the other girl was, what the 'ban' in Russia refers to.
 
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