jBill Clinton at the Pearly Gates

Jan 2010
1,113
169
Oaxaca, Mexico
President Bill Clinton died and when he arrived at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter checked the big book.

"Oh, my. I see here that you were a sexual predator for most of your life and abused many women."
"Saint Peter, are you a lawyer?"
"No, actually, I'm a fisherman."
"Well, I'm a lawyer and whether or not I abused women would depend on the definition of abused, wouldn't it?"
"I suppose it might. But, I see here that you took an oath in God's name and lied, committed perjury."
"I'm a lawyer, Saint Peter, and that would depend entirely on your definition of lied, wouldn't it?"
"Perhaps, but I see here that you sold Presidential Pardons to unrepentant criminals."
"Really, Saint Peter, that would have to depend on your definition of sold."
"Look, have a seat over there. I'm going to have to run the past the boss."

So, Bill Clinton sat on the bench and watched the people going buy. Some were carrying a red ticket in their hand and were crying while others had white tickets and were smiling. Bill Clinton saw Saint Peter coming with a red ticket.

"Am I going to Hell, Saint Peter."
"Well, that depends entirely on your definition of the word Hell, doesn't it, counselor?"
 
Jul 2014
40,493
11,022
midwest
President Bill Clinton died and when he arrived at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter checked the big book.

"Oh, my. I see here that you were a sexual predator for most of your life and abused many women."
"Saint Peter, are you a lawyer?"
"No, actually, I'm a fisherman."
"Well, I'm a lawyer and whether or not I abused women would depend on the definition of abused, wouldn't it?"
"I suppose it might. But, I see here that you took an oath in God's name and lied, committed perjury."
"I'm a lawyer, Saint Peter, and that would depend entirely on your definition of lied, wouldn't it?"
"Perhaps, but I see here that you sold Presidential Pardons to unrepentant criminals."
"Really, Saint Peter, that would have to depend on your definition of sold."
"Look, have a seat over there. I'm going to have to run the past the boss."

So, Bill Clinton sat on the bench and watched the people going buy. Some were carrying a red ticket in their hand and were crying while others had white tickets and were smiling. Bill Clinton saw Saint Peter coming with a red ticket.

"Am I going to Hell, Saint Peter."
"Well, that depends entirely on your definition of the word Hell, doesn't it, counselor?"
Good one.
 
Jan 2010
1,113
169
Oaxaca, Mexico
Thanks. I try to make a joke for each election but the last two were so tragic I didn't bother.

Do you know what Sen. John Kerry, Saddam Hussein, and Jerry Lewis all have in common?

The French love them.