Minnesota womans obituary takes dark turn

Mar 2012
58,635
40,148
New Hampshire
How about this?

A punishing paid obituary exposing a woman's affair in small-town Minnesota in the 1960s forced a review of what's fair to say about the departed. Kathleen Dehmlow died last Thursday in Springfield, Minn., at the age of 80. On Monday, the Redwood Falls Gazette published a death notice online and in print that spelled out some salacious details of her life.

The obituary starts out conventionally enough, noting her birth in 1938, marriage in 1957 to Dennis Dehmlow in Wabasso and the arrival of children Gina and Jay. "She abandoned her children, Gina and Jay, who were then raised by her parents," the obituary continued. Kathleen Dehmlow died "and will now face judgement," the notice said. "She will not be missed by Gina and Jay, and they understand that this world is a better place without her."

Mark Anfinson, attorney for the Minnesota Newspaper Association, said, "This kind of trashing of a decedent doesn't happen very often," but there is nothing illegal about what was published.

Minnesota woman's obit takes dark turn over long-ago extramarital affair, prompts debate | New Hampshire
 
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Sep 2016
21,255
15,812
My own world
If it was true I see nothing wrong with it. People don't become saints in the eyes of the people they wronged when they die. In this case her two children were pissed off with her when she was alive, why would they be any less pissed off now that she was dead? I can see alot of grown children wanting to do this to a parent that never paid child support and/or just plain abondoned them as kids wanting to get this final word. The only thing I see wrong with it is that the dead person doesn't get to see it. Personally if it were me I would have sent it to the person while they were alive with a note saying it would appear in the paper and on social media they day after they died. This would to them a heads up on the type of legacy they would be leaving behind. Karma is a bitch !
 
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Sep 2017
5,469
6,538
Massachusetts
If it was true I see nothing wrong with it. People don't become saints in the eyes of the people they wronged when they die. In this case her two children were pissed off with her when she was alive, why would they be any less pissed off now that she was dead? I can see alot of grown children wanting to do this to a parent that never paid child support and/or just plain abondoned them as kids wanting to get this final word. The only thing I see wrong with it is that the dead person doesn't get to see it. Personally if it were me I would have sent it to the person while they were alive with a note saying it would appear in the paper and on social media they day after they died. This would to them a heads up on the type of legacy they would be leaving behind. Karma is a bitch !
Ouch. Usually obituaries go so far the other direction that the people have become unrecognizable. A few years ago an uncle of mine died. He was a raging racist, who'd raised two racist kids. Even beyond his vile politics he was, at best, a questionable character. For example, after he died his wife found out he had a couple million dollars stashed away from their business that he'd never told her about -- in fact, he'd always insisted they were cash-strapped and couldn't afford to visit Europe, as she'd been dying to do her whole life. Yet, despite all that, you'd have thought he was a saint from his obituary.
 

Crusher

Former Staff
Aug 2011
28,358
9,260
Heaven Above
That's brutal. While she may not have been a good person; I don't see this as a good place to slam her for it.

RIP Lady
 
Feb 2011
17,041
6,084
Boise, ID
That's brutal. While she may not have been a good person; I don't see this as a good place to slam her for it.

RIP Lady
Seems a fairly shitty thing to write. Why not just let it go and die with her?
The lady's dead, she doesn't care what anyone says about her now.

Writing something like this says a lot more about the writer than anything, which in this case is an admission that "I'm bitter and resentful, and I don't believe I need to forgive anyone. I'm fine living my life with that grudge, and am happy to explain what caused it."
 
May 2013
19,403
19,297
N Oregon Coast
I plan on writing my own obit - might go a little something like this: ;)

"I told you this would happen"

Philip Dayton Thorpe, born in Salt Lake City, April 1, 1934, to Ward R. & Phyllis Dayton Thorpe, and whose birth probably marked the beginning of April Fools' Day, died April 10, 2018, from causes related to life-long obesity and sleeping standing up. His grave marker will read "This corpse, is Phil Thorpe's."

Clod, as he was called even by those who knew his name, lived such a boring life that watching paint dry caused him to hyperventilate. His accomplishments will be published at a later date, if any are discovered. He served as an artillery officer in the U.S. Army. Canada wouldn't take him because, so they said, they don't go to war much up there.

He served 3 missions for the LDS Church but they stopped sending him because he always came back. He picked up 3 University degrees along the way, two of which he had to return.​

Philip Thorpe Obituary - Salt Lake City, UT | The Salt Lake Tribune
 
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