Mom who refused to abort baby with medical needs welcomes daughter

Sep 2014
28,781
18,200
USA
#61
I agree and disagree a bit. I was the only person in my office that voted against the "Right to Die" ballot measure in my state. Why? B/c I had dealt with my HMO over the years. I of course had sympathy for the terminally ill but thought that insurance companies would corrupt the law to their best fiscal benefit. Blessedly, I was very wrong.
Years later I did a stint in an elderly care home. I was amazed at the mountains of drugs these women took everyday. And these women were DONE. I don't mean that in a caustic way or even stating my opinion of their plight. It's what THEY said. One woman, lucid as can be, just flat out said she was tired of it all. She had her time. She had her husband whom she loved and good friends who were all dead. She had her kids and grandkids but saw them a few hours every month. She was a very proud chick too. She hated the indignity of being helped in her bodily functions and refused to wear adult diapers (which was a real bitch when she developed a UTI). She explained that it was just filling time with no hope for much else.

The point is the medicine she took for her heart or her cholesterol were keeping her where she most assuredly did not want to be. And it was only going to get worse for her. I kinda took her words and sentiments to heart. We kinda keep people alive for our own good conscience. Hell, we had to put old animals down when they couldn't take care of themselves (like stand up). No, I'm not suggesting putting humans down, but we also needn't artificially extend a life if that person is just not up for the last mile.
If the woman was lucid...she could have made the choice to stop taking her medications. It happens all the time when a patient truly wants to throw in the towel. My MIL stopped drinking water because she had given up. She put herself in acute renal failure and then went into hospice. I lost a Aunt last summer when she fractured a vertebra in her back. She stopped all her medication, put herself in congestive heart failure by diet, and refused to open her door to her kids to assist her. She basically laid down and died...her choice. Once a patient truly decides to give up....they don't last long if they are elderly. One thing I noticed, the older a person becomes...they talk about death all the time and make comments like your example. It is difficult to determine if they are just grumbling or if they mean it....especially if they are relatively healthy. If I paid attention to every patient who asked me to take them out after a surgery or medical event...I would be a serial killer by now. :) Most beg to die after a knee or hip replacement due to post surgical pain. The point is....if you can still make your own decisions, you still have the power to end your life if that is what you want. I strongly support Die with Dignity laws but you have to consider the ethics involved. We are not at the point to end a person's life because they ask...you would have people making appointments to die if they lost their job or going through a divorce.
 
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May 2019
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A Van Down by the River...
#62
If the woman was lucid...she could have made the choice to stop taking her medications. It happens all the time when a patient truly wants to throw in the towel. My MIL stopped drinking water because she had given up. She put herself in acute renal failure and then went into hospice. I lost a Aunt last summer when she fractured a vertebra in her back. She stopped all her medication, put herself in congestive heart failure by diet, and refused to open her door to her kids to assist her. She basically laid down and died...her choice. Once a patient truly decides to give up....they don't last long if they are elderly. One thing I noticed, the older a person becomes...they talk about death all the time and make comments like your example. It is difficult to determine if they are just grumbling or if they mean it....especially if they are relatively healthy. If I paid attention to every patient who asked me to take them out after a surgery or medical event...I would be a serial killer by now. :) Most beg to die after a knee or hip replacement due to post surgical pain. The point is....if you can still make your own decisions, you still have the power to end your life if that is what you want. I strongly support Die with Dignity laws but you have to consider the ethics involved. We are not at the point to end a person's life because they ask...you would have people making appointments to die if they lost their job or going through a divorce.
Great examples. I didn't stay long at this place, tho I did learn that one of my faves died shortly after I left which I'm super glad she waited until I was gone, cuz that would have been a bad day. Maybe some of these women did end up deciding for themselves, tho isn't harder when someone is responsible for their care? Anyway, it was an interesting time, and I learned a lot about Walker, Texas Ranger.
 
Sep 2014
28,781
18,200
USA
#63
Great examples. I didn't stay long at this place, tho I did learn that one of my faves died shortly after I left which I'm super glad she waited until I was gone, cuz that would have been a bad day. Maybe some of these women did end up deciding for themselves, tho isn't harder when someone is responsible for their care? Anyway, it was an interesting time, and I learned a lot about Walker, Texas Ranger.
You can't force a patient to take a medication if they deny it no matter how bad you want to administer it. All you can do it document that the patient denied.
 
May 2019
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A Van Down by the River...
#64
You can't force a patient to take a medication if they deny it no matter how bad you want to administer it. All you can do it document that the patient denied.
Yeah, the paperwork.
Don't miss that.
'Course I never had anyone refuse. Yet most couldn't tell ya what they were taking, or why. My mom's like that -- I'm constantly googling the meds she names to check the side effects and whatnot. She has no idea what's she's taking. In fact, just recently she was complaining about a new prescription that was gonna cost her $5k. I looked it up. It was Cialis. I told her it is a boner pill and is one of the spendier ones but she probably could get a better deal (which she ultimately did). Anyway, you get up there and the doc says "take this" and you just do it. And now my mom has great boners... I kid.
 
Sep 2014
28,781
18,200
USA
#65
Yeah, the paperwork.
Don't miss that.
'Course I never had anyone refuse. Yet most couldn't tell ya what they were taking, or why. My mom's like that -- I'm constantly googling the meds she names to check the side effects and whatnot. She has no idea what's she's taking. In fact, just recently she was complaining about a new prescription that was gonna cost her $5k. I looked it up. It was Cialis. I told her it is a boner pill and is one of the spendier ones but she probably could get a better deal (which she ultimately did). Anyway, you get up there and the doc says "take this" and you just do it. And now my mom has great boners... I kid.
LOL My Dad makes me crazy with his meds. I talked him into using pill packs and he loves it. Medicare pays for them .

PillPack - Pharmacy Simplified
 
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May 2019
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A Van Down by the River...
#68
Is she taking it for pulmonary arterial disease? Some articles I saw stated that some women use it to become amorous. :)

Cialis (tadalafil) for Women: Side Effects and Alternatives

A dollar a pill.
If she has felt amorous I certainly doubt she could do anything about that. She just got out of rehab (the physical therapy kind) after a hospitalization prompted by a series of bad tumbles. She says the docs (and she has 3 or 4) don't know what her deal is. But the main thing (leading up to the falling) is that she couldn't get enough oxygen in her blood (which may indeed be what you say, I couldn't tell ya). She has a pacemaker so she says they can't use an MRI to see if she has something going on. So, I figured Cialis is to get her blood vessels dialated? Hell I dunno but she's taking a crap ton. I think she's supposed to take 30mg everyday. I will say she sounds much better and isn't huffing anymore. She's taking a bunch of other things too, so hard to pinpoint what if anything has been the breakthrough. One drug she was on in large doses was probably the culprit in the serial falls but now she is not trying to walk very much which we all feel is gonna make her worse off. It's just a relief not to have her sound like she's on death's door. Geez.

A dollar a pill? Well, that's a good deal! I did see great pricing online if you bought from Canada, which I've never done and wouldn't know if I could trust that transaction... Luckily she got Medicare to cover the cost once they found out she wasn't taking them "recreationally." But actually, I thought Medicare did cover boner pills for gents. I would have bet money on that.
 
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