The fact that I have a deductible AND a copay? That’s a sham.
You should have either co-pays
or deductibles
and co-insurance. This is called cost-sharing and it's an extremely critical component of what helps keep premiums down. The attitude that health insurance is supposed to pay for everything is very bad for our health care system.
The insurance company can also negotiate with me as a consumer and then the hospital. I don’t get to do that. And since the insurance can say “well we aren’t paying,” and I’m not a doctor? I don’t know if something is medically necessary and if the insurance is just pulling a nickel and dime scam.
It's not a scam. Providers have incentives to provide care that is profitable to them and/or their organization, whether it's "medically necessary" or not. So what mechanism exists to make sure providers aren't lying about what's medically necessary? Payers (which is almost always the insurers), who hire their own health care professionals to review utilization and make sure fraud and/or abuse isn't going on. Patients aren't going to do it. The only way patients would aggressively examine a doctor's recommendation based on necessity and cost is if they're going to be paying the bill. But most of the time, people needing significant care are paying a small portion or none of the bill, so they have no incentive to hold providers accountable for providing only the care that's medically necessary.
I also have out of network crap to worry about.
As do we all. If your insurance plan doesn't network with any of the types of providers you need, then you can raise the issue with your insurer that they need to make an exception and provide in-network levels of benefit. I have done this before successfully, because there were zero in-network providers in my area, which means the insurance they sold me had a phantom benefit that couldn't actually be used, so they covered it as if in-network, or at least very close.
And then all kinds of other things. I also may not be aware of what exactly I owe because the hospital bills me directly and I think I owe that instead of my copay/deductible and the hospital just takes payment from me.
A provider can't collect double (from both an insurer and the patient). That's called fraud and is plainly illegal. They can bill a patient for something the insurer did not cover, but they can't double-bill.
We have some of, if not the best, emergency care in the world. Our wait times are low for non emergency care. Our pharmaceutical industry allows for the world to profit off our generics. We don’t suck. We are just different.
The political hacks on the left need to listen to Hillary Clinton about our health care system. She's said some things recently that are very cogent.
it is still paid for by the patient. Health care isn’t free. Still. 
