Stephen Colbert's 'Rock Me Like a Herman Cain' Rally

Jun 2011
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You can see all 36:18 of Stephen Colbert's 'Rock me Like a Herman Cain' Rally at the College of Charleston in South Carolina HERE.

Putting aside the obvious jokes that Colbert intended, I must admit, this rally was much more sane than practically anything else that I have seen come out of the GOP field in the last 3 years.

Herman Cain (the HERMINATOR) took the podium and said that there are three things for sure:

1.) Washington is broken, cannot be fixed from within, can only be fixed from without (meaning, the people need to throw the bums out)

Washington is NOT broken. It is gridlocked because the minority party hates this current president with such a seething passion that it would do ANYTHING, including blowing the economy to smithereens, in order to regain power. I have never in my life seen an opposition party so unwilling to work with the majority party on anything, and I mean anything. You go back and analyse the workings of oppostion congresses under Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush 41 and Bush 43 and you will find Democratic congresses with a complete majority (and not just one House) who were much more willing to work with the sitting President than these Tea-Party goons and thugs now sitting in the halls of congress. Hell, even the Republican congress under Clinton was better than this!

You can clearly see on the faces of the college students behind Cain that they do not agree with him on his assessment of the Tea Party. This is quite obvious to see. Interesting to note that that is a mix of white and black students (University Chorus, I believe) behind him, and not one single of them looks happy at what Cain is saying. If he thinks that his words are resonating here, he is joking with himself. Go watch it yourself.

2.) America is broke. He means, of course, in terms of budget and finances. At around 11:50 he also claimed that SS is going broke (this is a lie, of course). He claims that Obama wants to do nothing about it. Gee, Obama just signed off on 1.2 trillion in cuts, but he is doing nothing about it. Uhuh. He then reminds that he just endorsed "the people" for the presidency, which is utter ballooohooo, unless he thinks you can cram 310 million Americans inside the White House. This is really just a cop-out for "I don't wanna endorse anyone, they all suck".


Great history lesson from Cain (13:07) "The new Revolution. Now back in 1773, it was about the Boston Tea Party and the American Revolution started in 1785 and in 17, uh 1783 we won that first Revolution".

No shit. The guy really said that, on record. How can you win a revolution 2 years before you claim it started?? Of course, he meant 1775, I assume. His year for the real Boston Tea Party is indeed correct (late December 1773).

"That Revolution was about bombs and bullets. This Revolution is about brains and ballots."

(His speechwriter did good work here)

He then compares himself to being David against Goliath.

3.) Not offended by Stephen Colbert attaching his name to Cain's image. (15:22) Because "American needs to learn how to lighten up"... Stephen Colberts event "helps to bring attention to the crisis of the situation that we are in"

But then he says (15:59) "Every vote counts. Now, Stephen Colbert asks for you to vote for 'Herman Cain'. I am going to ask you to NOT vote for Herman Cain, and here's why: I don't want you to waste your vote. I don't want you to waste your vote because one of the things that people really fail(ed) to appreciate is that EVERY VOTE COUNTS."

(Well, fuck, if every vote counts, why would it not count if people go out and vote for Herman Cain?)

(17:20) "I am still on a mission to take back our Country"

(from whom? The abominable snow monster, or what?)

Then the Herminator challenges his public to do 3 things:

(18:19) "Number one: stay informed. Stay informed about what's goin' on..... because stupid people are ruinin' America"

(Yepp, Herman, I agree with you. Like those people who say "we came unarmed, this time". Yepp.)

(18:47) "Number two. Stay involved. Don't be a part of the problem. Be a part of the solution. So stay involved in whatever way you can be involved."

(19:10) "And the third thing I want you to do ... stay inspired. Believe that you can do this. Now, several things inspire me to still be a voice.."

(yepp, like the money you are making on your book, Herman)

HE SINGS at 23:00. Obama can sing better.

Stephen Colbert back on the stage at 25 minutes... Thank God.

Colbert (26:12): "What do we mean when we say 'WE the PEOPLE'? Well, when our founding fathers wrote those words 'WE THE PEOPLE", they meant ALL the people... who were white, male landowners. (Audience laughter) But throughout our Nation's great history, every generation has been called to expand the definition of who is a 'person' to more of their fellow human beings regardless of race, creed, color, or whether they are human or half-beings, because now we know that corporations are people. (Audience boos, some laughter, Colbert turns to the Gospel choir) Can I get a 'corporations are people!'? (The gospel choir shouts: "corporations are people!"),and if corporations are people, then, ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to say that I am a people person (audience laughter).

Colbert then rails on corporate spending for elections and influence buying. Go watch this on your own, you are gonna love it.

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Facit: Colbert is sometimes a little goofy, but damn if he doesn't educate people more quickly and better with biting humour than most others. His strange "President of the United States of South Carolina" campaign is designed to show us the intrinsic flaws of our current system of electioneering, plus the flaws that we have inflicted upon ourselves through Citizens United (what a fucking perverse title for this decision, for it has nothing to do with normal citizens at all)...
 
Jan 2012
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SoCal
It's sort of sad that the left in this country equates mockery with real intelligent discourse.

I mean most of them get their news from The Daily Show, and follow it up The Colbert Report and then probably switch over to Real Time to make sure they are told what to think from Bill Maher.

It is so sad that the left just reflexively hates, derides and thinks that sneering at someone or something is the same as engaging it, discussing it, and finally convincing people about about.

It is why the number of people that identify as both liberals and Democrats has constantly been falling. It is why the claimed Obama wave election didn't even last one cycle.

Mocking someone doesn't win them to your cause.
 

Singularity

Moderator
Oct 2009
35,348
30,709
Kansas
It's sort of sad that the
in this country equates mockery with real intelligent discourse.

I mean most of them get their news from [Rush Limbaugh], and follow it up with [Bill O'Reilly] and then probably switch over to [Sean Hannity] to make sure they are told what to think.

It is so sad that the
just reflexively hates, derides and thinks that sneering at someone or something is the same as engaging it, discussing it, and finally convincing people about about.

It is why the number of people that identify as both [conservatives] and [Republicans] has constantly been falling. It is why the claimed [2010] wave election didn't even last one cycle.

Mocking someone doesn't win them to your cause.​

Adjusted for accuracy.
 
Dec 2010
27,601
4,839
Southington Connecticut
It's sort of sad that the left in this country equates mockery with real intelligent discourse.

I mean most of them get their news from The Daily Show, and follow it up The Colbert Report and then probably switch over to Real Time to make sure they are told what to think from Bill Maher.

It is so sad that the left just reflexively hates, derides and thinks that sneering at someone or something is the same as engaging it, discussing it, and finally convincing people about about.

It is why the number of people that identify as both liberals and Democrats has constantly been falling. It is why the claimed Obama wave election didn't even last one cycle.

Mocking someone doesn't win them to your cause.
Imteresting comment from the portion of the "American" political wing that thinks that Faux "New" Network is really news and that Fox "news" Network is actually "balanced", and thinks that Srah Palin says anything intelligent or honest, and that Michelle Bachmann has an accurate understanding of US history, and that thinks Santorum is "normal", and thinks that Ronmey isn't "plastic", and considers Gingrich's phucking around on his wives as "showing character".
 
Last edited:
Jan 2012
1,503
539
SoCal
Adjusted for accuracy.
If you want to be accurate fill it with comedians and their fake shows.

Imteresting comment from the portion of the "American" political wing that things that Faux "New" Network is really news and that Fox "news" Network is actually "balanced", and thinks that Srah Palin says anything intelligent or honest, and that Michelle Bachmann has an accurate understanding of US history, and that thinks Santorum is "normal", and thinks that Ronmey isn't "plastic", and considers Gingrich's phucking around on his wives as "showing character".
Actually studies on media bias have shown that Fox News is balanced. The personality driven talk shows aren't balanced of course nor do the claim to be. However the other network news sources are so profoundly biased that the people that watch them simply view FoxNews as biased because they aren't advancing an agenda.

In the meantime, we can watch the left clap like seals at their clown impersonating certain talk shows so that their audience can impersonate people who think.
 

Red Eft

Former Staff
May 2007
8,067
3,168
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If you want to be accurate fill it with comedians and their fake shows.



Actually studies on media bias have shown that Fox News is balanced. The personality driven talk shows aren't balanced of course nor do the claim to be. However the other network news sources are so profoundly biased that the people that watch them simply view FoxNews as biased because they aren't advancing an agenda.

In the meantime, we can watch the left clap like seals at their clown impersonating certain talk shows so that their audience can impersonate people who think.
Links?
 
Jan 2012
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You gotta admit that it takes a serious set of stones to show up to an event that you know was organized to mock you.
 
Dec 2006
91,546
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In the Witness Protection Program
It's sort of sad that the left in this country equates mockery with real intelligent discourse.

I mean most of them get their news from The Daily Show, and follow it up The Colbert Report and then probably switch over to Real Time to make sure they are told what to think from Bill Maher.

It is so sad that the left just reflexively
hates, derides and thinks that sneering at someone or something is the same as engaging it, discussing it, and finally convincing people about about.

It is why the number of people that identify as both liberals and Democrats has constantly been falling. It is why the claimed Obama wave election didn't even last one cycle.

Mocking someone doesn't win them to your cause.
Link?