Twitter Mocks Alex Jones' Prediction Of Second Civil War

boontito

Future Staff
Jan 2008
107,541
98,952
Most Insidious
#1
Apparently, rabid conspiracy theorist Alex Jones went on Twitter with a warning that Democrats will be igniting a second Civil War on July 4th.

Twitter users couldn't pass up the opportunity to mock him and the hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters, written as notes home from the front, has taken off.

Check out these search results: https://twitter.com/hashtag/secondcivilwarletters?s=09

https://twitter.com/alt_jabroni/status/1014235655109410816?s=19
Dearest Jezebel, conditions are harsh here on the front lines with the 92nd Altgov battalion. Reception is spotty at best. I’ve been on 3G most of the day. Sometimes it drops to 2G. Gifs no longer properly load. Words cannot describe what I’m going through. #secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/tazinib1/status/1014235625791188992?s=19
Dearest Mary,
Me again. Don’t tell anyone but I’m really here for the #civilwarpotluck. The potato salad is delectable but I was promised pot brownies. Seems DOJ brigade leader [MENTION=15664]Jeff[/MENTION]sessions has ruled them a class 1 war crime. Is there no civility left?
#secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/SthrnHeel/status/1014235617415266304?s=19
My love,

The battle has turned, the Reds have resorted to launching burritos to distract us. I say...

Damn the Burritos...........FULL SPEED AHEAD

#secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/saavik2017/status/1014235586473885696?s=19
#secondcivilwarletters *cue violins*

My Darling Henleigh, we grow more and more lonely for you, here in the safety of Manhattan. The girls and I have been industriously knitting bazookas for you and your courageous mates. Avocado pits are being collected for bullets. God speed!
 
Likes: 9 people
Jan 2016
57,334
54,121
Colorado
#3
"... Avocado pits are being collected for bullets. God speed! "

:smiley_ROFLMAO:
This is the line that provoked a guffaw from me:

I was promised pot brownies. Seems DOJ brigade leader [MENTION=15664]Jeff[/MENTION]sessions has ruled them a class 1 war crime. Is there no civility left?
 
Likes: 2 people

Macduff

Moderator
Apr 2010
96,626
33,587
Pittsburgh, PA
#8
Dearest Mother,
My eternal gratitude to you for accompanying me to my job interview. I swear when this war is over I will make use of my degree in feminist dance therapy. I fear the cause may be lost. My colleagues had not considered that conservatives have all the guns and are not allergic to gluten. The war will be over in short order.
 
Last edited:
Likes: 1 person
Dec 2014
17,035
6,130
The Milky Way
#9
Dearest Mother,
My eternal gratitude to you for accompanying me to my job interview. I swear when this war is over I will make use of my degree in feminist dance therapy. I fear the cause may be lost. My colleagues had not considered that conservatives have all the guns and are not allergic to gluten. The war will be over in short order.

Heh.

And gotta love "Twitter mocks". Really now.