Twitter Mocks Alex Jones' Prediction Of Second Civil War

boontito

Future Staff
Jan 2008
109,885
103,428
Most Insidious
Apparently, rabid conspiracy theorist Alex Jones went on Twitter with a warning that Democrats will be igniting a second Civil War on July 4th.

Twitter users couldn't pass up the opportunity to mock him and the hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters, written as notes home from the front, has taken off.

Check out these search results: https://twitter.com/hashtag/secondcivilwarletters?s=09

https://twitter.com/alt_jabroni/status/1014235655109410816?s=19
Dearest Jezebel, conditions are harsh here on the front lines with the 92nd Altgov battalion. Reception is spotty at best. I’ve been on 3G most of the day. Sometimes it drops to 2G. Gifs no longer properly load. Words cannot describe what I’m going through. #secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/tazinib1/status/1014235625791188992?s=19
Dearest Mary,
Me again. Don’t tell anyone but I’m really here for the #civilwarpotluck. The potato salad is delectable but I was promised pot brownies. Seems DOJ brigade leader [MENTION=15664]Jeff[/MENTION]sessions has ruled them a class 1 war crime. Is there no civility left?
#secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/SthrnHeel/status/1014235617415266304?s=19
My love,

The battle has turned, the Reds have resorted to launching burritos to distract us. I say...

Damn the Burritos...........FULL SPEED AHEAD

#secondcivilwarletters

https://twitter.com/saavik2017/status/1014235586473885696?s=19
#secondcivilwarletters *cue violins*

My Darling Henleigh, we grow more and more lonely for you, here in the safety of Manhattan. The girls and I have been industriously knitting bazookas for you and your courageous mates. Avocado pits are being collected for bullets. God speed!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 9 people

Blues63

Moderator
Dec 2014
14,681
12,460
Mustafa
"... Avocado pits are being collected for bullets. God speed! "

:smiley_ROFLMAO:
 
Jan 2016
57,388
54,210
Colorado
"... Avocado pits are being collected for bullets. God speed! "

:smiley_ROFLMAO:
This is the line that provoked a guffaw from me:

I was promised pot brownies. Seems DOJ brigade leader [MENTION=15664]Jeff[/MENTION]sessions has ruled them a class 1 war crime. Is there no civility left?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people

Macduff

Moderator
Apr 2010
98,464
34,927
Pittsburgh, PA
Dearest Mother,
My eternal gratitude to you for accompanying me to my job interview. I swear when this war is over I will make use of my degree in feminist dance therapy. I fear the cause may be lost. My colleagues had not considered that conservatives have all the guns and are not allergic to gluten. The war will be over in short order.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Dec 2014
18,042
6,604
The Milky Way
Dearest Mother,
My eternal gratitude to you for accompanying me to my job interview. I swear when this war is over I will make use of my degree in feminist dance therapy. I fear the cause may be lost. My colleagues had not considered that conservatives have all the guns and are not allergic to gluten. The war will be over in short order.

Heh.

And gotta love "Twitter mocks". Really now.