While the rest of us celebrated Christmas - Trump celebrated "Festivus"

May 2013
14,998
13,559
Boise, ID
#1
Anyone who's ever watched Seinfeld knows that Festivus was George Castanza's Father's holiday consisting of "an airing of grievances". That is the pathetic shit-show we witnessed yesterday from the Oval Office. It should be noted that Donald's Festivus for the Rest of Us - was adorned with LIES.

1. We contracted for 150 miles of wall. No detail of course - where/ who the contractor is/ NOTHING. Surely someone would have seen the activity. It should be noted that there is NO MECHANISM for a president to award a construction contract.

2. There is new wall being built right now. No, there is NO WALL being built right now, nor has there been other than a bit of razor wire added to existing structures during Donald's 100 million dollar pre-election military stunt.

3. Said he has spoken to "many federal employees who support the shutdown". Nope, that one strains credulity and falls into his "many people are saying" bucket.

4. Claims Saudi Arabia has agreed to rebuild Syria. We have no confirmation of that, and the cost is estimated to be half a trillion. Saudi Arabia has an interest in Syria .. but it has nothing to do with any "rebuilding" efforts.

5. Says there is "much progress with NoKo" - Ehhhh ... NoNo.

6. Has anyone found those "ten terrorists we apprehended at the border". If we don't have names, surely we can know where they are being held and what the charges are right? Wrong ... These people do not exist.

7. His policies result in the death of an 8 year old Guatemalan boy in US custody. More blood on his tiny hands.

8. Asks seven year old girl whether she believes in Santa Clause on Christmas Eve. Because "isn't that kind of marginal". Thankfully the little girl didn't know what "marginal" meant and said she still believed in Santa Clause.

Number 8 evokes the immortal words of Melissa Manchester from Midnight Blue circa 1975:

Even the simple things become rough
Haven't we had enough?


Get the pole out of the crawlspace Donald, and Merry Fucking Festivus to you! :zany:

 
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May 2013
14,998
13,559
Boise, ID
#3
If the Trump Presidency was a situation comedy it would not have made it through a half season....
The reality TeeVee shit-show cannot get any worse OG. The guardrails are down and we are all in danger at present. Hell, since there are no competent people willing to replace all the folks he's firing, may as well bring in Meatloaf, Gary Busey and Lil Jon (having forgotten, he's been reminded who the latter is - Final Four)

Trump Said 'I Don't Know Who Lil Jon Is'

 
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May 2013
14,998
13,559
Boise, ID
#5
Maybe he could bring back Omarosa for a guest appearance?
I actually enjoyed season one, partially because runner-up Troy McClain is a Boise acquaintance.
But yes, Omarosa would be certain to give our Clown in Chief a much needed boost in ratings.

 

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